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? asked in Arts & HumanitiesBooks & Authors · 1 decade ago

Need honest opinions only. Is this a good start?

This is the beginning before the story is actually started.

Your a little girl dreaming of your wedding day. The dress you'll wear,your father walking you down the aisle. Dreaming of the day when your Knight in shining armor would come and sweep you off your feet. That was my dream. Little did I know I would be falling for Mr. Wrong.

Update:

The story will be titled "Mr.Wrong" by the way

Update 2:

Yeah sorry,asked the question on my touch phone so didn't catch the spelling.

Update 3:

It might be a psycho thriller or just a mystery. Someone else said it sounded like the movie The Craigslist Killer,but I've never seen that movie.

Summary or whatever

This girl,23,and this guy,27,meet one night at this new club that opened up in town. Things hit it off from the start and Trisha thought she had met the man of her dreams. Things began to move fast despite the concerns from her family. Within two years of meeting,they had moved in together and got engaged. Trisha thought he was perfect. Little did she know how very NOT perfect Josh was. Money kept on missing out of their joint account and josh became distant. A year after getting engaged Josh is arrested for the rape of several women and the murder of 2 of them. Trisha doesn't believe her fiance could have done this. She's constantly followed everywhere by the news networks. Shes overwhelmed and stressed and misses her period and finds out she's pregnant. She goes to visit Josh one day and tells him and he's so happy b

Update 4:

but she breaks off the engagement. A few months after she tells him,she has a miscarriage and thinking its whats best,she calls(or visits) Josh and tells him she had a miscarriage. Later that night Josh kills himself.

No thumb downs have been from me.

Thanks for everyones input

7 Answers

Relevance
  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    That is good so far do you have more to it you should finish i and then let me read it because i would love to finish reading it it looked good so far well have a nice day and by:)

  • 1 decade ago

    it was all good until the Mr. Wrong part.... it just sounds weird and doesn't really fit

    and btw, at first i thought it said: you're a little girl DROWNING on your wedding day xD

  • Kitty
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    The beginning was nice, but the ending could be stronger. Possibly: That was my dream until his fake, plastic armor fell off. Aha, or something like that. "Mr.Wrong" seems a bit corny. =/

  • It would sound better (in my opinion) as:

    As a little girl you dreamt of your wedding day...

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I really like it i think it's really good and descriptive.

    :)

  • 1 decade ago

    You're. ver' important that.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    *You're

    *knight

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