Child neglect & endangerment social services NOT DOING ANYTHING?!?
After a year of watching my 19 yr old sister fail miserably at putting her daughter first in her life, my entire family decided enough was enough and I was the spokes person for calling Children & Youth for neglect and child endangerment.
SOME of the things she has been doing (which we told C&Y) include:
Refusing to feed her- she is OBSESSED with her daughters weight and quote "doesnt want a fat baby" she denies her food and refuses to let other people.
Having sex in the same room as the baby with MANY, many men. She has had, in excess, of 25 "boyfriends" since her daughter was brought home from the hospital. She meets them online & brings her daughter to their houses- they are complete strangers & will often meet with 2 to 3 guys a day...waking my niece up at 11pm to bring her out to guys houses. She will leave the baby with these guys families after JUST meeting them
Her face and clothing are 80% of the time caked in dirt, smelling, and she will often sit in the SAME diaper for 12+ hours.. she has had a continuous diaper rash since the time she was born. We have pictures of her face so caked in snot she cant breathe from her nose
She is FOREVER being unsupervised, and her line when we tell her she needs to watch/feed her is always "She's fine".Shes been in the hospital twice bc of falling off things *stitches* for being unsupervised
My sister has drove while intoxicated with the baby in the car- her destination? Some guys house. Where she then claims "this guy took advantage of her bc she was intoxicated"
There is so much more- - however...
C& Y came into the home 12/27/10 and 'interviewed' her.
We called again on 12/29 because she kept the baby out past midnight, then stayed up herself till 5am and kept her bedroom door locked & refused to come downstairs to feed/change the baby bc she was "tired" and told us to go away until after 1pm, which means she went unfed & unchanged for over 15 hours
We are calling again tomorrow because she had another stranger come knock on my moms door (where my sister & her daughter are living) to "hang out" with my sister. Guy is from NJ, we live in PA. My mom told them they couldnt hang out at my moms bc my sister didnt even know the guy so they left... My mom didnt have much of a choice to watch the baby bc otherwise my sister would have taken her out, yet again, with a strange guy. They were only gone an hour. Guy drove from NJ to hang out with my sister in PA, whom hes never met before, for an hour????
Since we've called, we've yet to hear what C&Y is doing to protect my niece. My sister DID get a certified letter from them, but told my mom its none of her business what it said. We feel that her promiscuity and decision making are getting more & more dangerous.... If C&Y doesnt do anything, can i just petition for custody of my niece?
Maybe its just us, but how is C&y NOT DOING ANYTHING about this? She is obviously being put in dangerous situations whether it be with strangers, or being unsupervised or neglected. *Literally my ENTIRE family would be in unison with claiming shes an unfit mother if we took it to court*
The baby just turned 1, we live in the state of PA- - - just FYI
Just to verify what the overall question here is:
C&Y has been called, and since my sister lives at home with my mom, they are more or less saying "Yea, this happens when teens live at home with their babies, the grandparents step in too much" kinda thing. My mom (and everyone else in the house) steps in ONLY because otherwise she would be physically harmed, put in dangerous situations or not be fed or bathed.
I understand the need to not ENABLE her, however if C&Y feels there is not substancial evidence to do anything although I cant imagine how they can overlook anything I wrote above, can we go over their heads & just file a petition in court instead with family member testimony?
I hope this isnt too confusing...
Thanks Kali, YEs we have been taking ALOT of pictures, and even video even though I know you cant record someone without their knowledge we have her on tape looking at her crying baby as shes pointing to her bottle and saying "Awww mommy wont feed you?" Its so sick.
Violet- Unfortunately we have tried EVERYTHING to get her into couseling and parenting classes- she threatens to take the baby away and we'd never see her again if we press the issues, and says there is "nothing wrong with what she is doing". Shes mentally unstable with how she rationalizes or sees things for sure, but she refuses to get help.... We told this to C&Y as well !
Yes, shes told several of her friends that she "puts the baby in her crib bc she cant go anywhere so she can have sex" (they share a room)
On one hand C&Y is saying "GrandMom/Others, stop enabling her & let her make her own mistakes/take responsibility" then someone else is saying "Well why isnt the grandmom helping?" (which she IS, only bc my sister WONT) Its so confusing we're not sure what to do...
- Anonymous10 years agoFavorite Answer
I can't answer your question, but I wonder why your family is doing NOTHING about your sister. If I had a 19 year old daughter who behaved this way, I would get her some help, even if I had to have her committed. You didn't say how long it's been since the baby was born (maybe a year, according to your first sentence?), but this sounds like postpartum depression or a different mental health problem. Either way, your sister needs help. She is incapable of mothering her child until her emotional needs are cared for.
The baby needs a mother, not a judgmental and rejecting family. If your sister can get help and turn her life around, she will then be able to take appropriate care of her child, and they will both win. She needs all the support you can give her, even if it means that your family cares for the baby until she gets treatment.
- Anonymous10 years ago
Can I just say, while I sympathise and agree that the 19-year-old is being a terrible mother and not acting in the best intrests of the child, and deserves to have it taken:
JEEZ, GIVE THEM A BREAK!
You say the interview with C&Y happened on the 27th December 2010. It is now (in my country) the 4th January 2011. In America it would still be 3rd January 2011. It's barely a week later! And in there are two public holidays. GIVE THEM A BREAK. I know it's bad, I know to you it seems forever. But you've only given them a handful of days and you're already complaining! The amount of paperwork involved in this sort of thing is tremendous. Give them TIME. I'm sure they're taking care of it.
If it had been a month, I could understand why you were complaining. But a week? Come on, these people are allowed holidays too, you know.
- Anonymous10 years ago
Goodluck with children services doing much. Their main objective is to keep the family together, something about ethics, yet what is ethical about what you've told me? My advice is to petition the court, it's worth a shot sense all else has failed. I watched 3 kids being severely neglected and abused, to the point that the oldest who seemed to get the worst of it end up in the hospital with malnutrition. This woman's own brothers and sister called the DFCS yet it waasn't until the oldest was 15 that they finally took her parental rights. He just died before Christmas 2010 at 24 years old of a drug overdose, no surprise there considering all he was forced to endure as a child. The system is supposed to protect the kids but don't count on it. If you can get an attorney.
- ?Lv 410 years ago
First of all, I feel terrible for everyone but your ignorant sister. Not to be mean, but she's crossed the stupid line. This is why people should have to take a test before having kids.
I'm assuming C & Y there is the same thing as DHS (Dept.Of Human Services) here. And DHS here in Arkansas? They don't do crap about anything. Lazy bums.
You, hunni, need to get a lawyer. Start voicerecording your sister saying things. Take pictures. Start documenting everything. Like when a diaper is on a baby for that long, the poop and pee starts running over? yeah, take pics of the diaper with poop running over. Everytime your sister has a new guy over, get a pic of them together. The next time she's at a party, have police secretly watch her and pull her @ss over and breathelyze her. Do everything you can because you or your mom or whatever need custody of that kid and his/her mom needs to sign over her rights!
I hope everything works out!! good luck to ya! :)
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- LadyCatherineLv 710 years ago
...when CPS comes around is the baby clean and fed and not smelling..? this is what they see. not to be mean,but you can tell them all you want but unless they see it, they don't/can;t really do anything about it.. it comes down to your word against hers.. sorry..
I am on your side, when I say this,, what you need to do is focus on the sex in front of the child and not feeding and changing her.. (staying out late and bringing her around 'stranger' does not, in the eyes of the court make her a bad mother.)
and also, the courts will ask, if the mother is living with who ever, WHY isn't that person helping with that child.. yes, I know you might say the mother won't let you or what every reason, I am just saying what the courts might say..
just keep calling CPS and offer to 'help' with the baby as much as she will let you..Source(s): also, how do you know she is having sex with the child in the same room (Just asking), did she tell you, do you belive her..? did you see this?