Really have the urge to cut myself...?
If you're just going to TL;DR, then get out of here... This is a serious question, and trolling isn't welcome. Sorry for wasting your time.
For a while now, I've had the urge to cut myself. I have a sort of... Itchy feeling on the inside of my arms... And when I'm in a close encounter with a knife, I feel like someone in my house will catch me cutting, so I don't...
Really, I've been having a tough time with friends. My best friend who I like, is already in a relationship, and a friend who I sort of liked thought I was a creep before we even started talking (he didn't want to be my friend anyway, apparently...). I feel like when I act upset, when I am, nobody cares enough to ask. Or if they do, they don't stick around long enough to help, or even recognize the problem. I feel hopeless. It's like I'm invisible, and nobody likes me for me.
I'm slightly overweight. Though my friends, parents, and family, all say I'm pretty and that I don't look fat at all.
But back to the matter at hand, I don't feel worth it. I know that I'm not liked by any boy, and I feel like I never will be liked just for being me... All my friends think I'm funny, nice, and smart... SOME say I'm pretty, but that's just my girl friends. My guy friends wouldn't say that to me... I don't want to tell my parents because they always take stuff like this to extremes... My guidance counselor is a no-go, because they'd probably think I was abused, and call DYFUS or something... I just want to feel loved. I know I am, but it doesn't feel like it...
I would rather not be labeled as self-centered, or conceited because I want attention, I just don't feel like I'm worth it.
Because sometimes I wonder if life is even worth living, and what life for others would be like if I didn't exist...
Don't take this the wrong way. I'm not begging for attention. I get enough as is... I really don't want it that much. I just wish people could show they cared instead of blowing off my problems (as small as some might be) for something "better to do".
- 9 years agoBest Answer
Anne, it sounds like you are having a hard time with life in general right now. I know how you feel. I used to cut when I was much younger. It was a way to reassure myself that I was a person like everyone else. That I did have a heart inside my chest that beats and that I bleed red like every other human being.
It also really sounds, at the root of the problem, that your self-esteem is low. You say that you "just want to feel loved." You MUST love yourself first and foremost. You cannot be loved, or expect others to love you if you don't first love and respect yourself. This may not be your problem, but I know that it was part of mine.
You are right in saying some people do take this to "extremes," but you have to realize that most people don't know what it is like to feel this way and don't understand how anyone else could feel this way. There are people who understand. You must know though, that if your parents DIDN'T take this to the extreme, they wouldn't love you, so it is apparent that they do. You may want to talk to your guidance counselor (maybe not about cutting) but about finding someone that you can talk to, like a psychologist/psychotherapist, maybe even a psychiatrist.
I suffered from a mental disorder for 12 years, was in therapy, saw therapist after therapist and a few psychiatrists. I had not been properly diagnosed until February of this year (2010). It sounds strange, but I was so happy when I found out what my problem was - it wasn't a mystery anymore and I could make a better attempt to fix it! After we found out what it was, we knew how to treat it.
I'm sorry...I have rambled on. I just want you to know that you are definitely NOT alone, but I do believe cutting is just a particular phase of some peoples' depression - it was for me.
Don't just deal with these feelings, get help dealing with them and take control of your life and the way you feel. There are several online sources, just search it. The help is out there...please get it.Source(s): Life Experience
- Anonymous9 years ago
If you truly had the same urge to cut yourself that all self-harmers experience, you would have done it already. Quite honestly, I don't believe that's the reason you haven't yet; I think you just are too afraid to actually do it.
I think it's obvious to anyone who's read your entire question that cutting is simply something you discovered can get attention and sympathy for those who do it: You said yourself that you "just want to feel loved," so you think that by having marks on your arm you'll be shown affection. Problem is, you don't want to deal with the pain. However, self-injurers WANT the pain -- that's the point. Therefore, you're just getting yourself into this for the purpose of garnering attention, and not truly because you want to release emotional tension. So, basically...I'm calling you out. Your "problems" (which are seriously not that bad at ALL, dude -- you really need to understand that that is just high school and everyone goes through stuff like that) are just about your friends not showing you enough attention. If that's what you really want, then go to your parents and ask them to make an appointment with your physician. He/she will recommend a personal psychologist who can give you the attention you want. Don't force yourself into something that really isn't for you just because you want to be coddled.
- 9 years ago
awww im sorry. im a cutter to and it all started with friends and i felt that no one cares.. first of all you should know that some guys might like you. there is no way to actually no for sure unless you ask every single guy. and guys they tend to not compliment friends that are girls on how pretty they are and that stuff. the least you can do is go to your friends for support. and the guidance counselor would not think that. just try to stay positive ok. :) also once you have started cutting you feel so guilty but just want to keep on doing it. so take this advice please: wear a rubber band around your wrist. whenever you want to cut or feel down just snap yourself and talk yourself through it. talk to a friend immediatly (mine were very supportive and understanding) if no friend is around, have your phone with you at all times and just call them. i hope this helps. im so sorry about the situation you are in. please take my advice though because i hate how some of us have these problems. best of luck to you though.Source(s): also there is always me and other people to talk to that cut to. sometimes having someone on the same side as you is the only one who really understands. the others never like actually lived through so they dont understand completely. so really other cutters trying to fight this can be the best support system. i would be willing to talk because i really dont have anyone to talk to besides my best friend who cuts. but she likes to hide her feeling about it so it doesnt work to well for me. again good luck. i really hope my advice can help you.
- 9 years ago
dear rude people that want to answer this question with some mean little comment to make yourself feel smart... get a life! and as for you dear, cutting is not the answer. i have 118 scars on my body from it and everyday i look at them and realize that they are the only thing about myself someone wont love. i felt the same way as you, and had no one to talk to becuase i moved so much and didnt make friends easy. i also had an issue with lieing, not to hurt anyone, just to make my life seem better so people would like me. just when i thought i was hopeless i met a girl named val and she became pretty much my big sister. she got kicked out and lived with me for a while and i was doing good for a bit but i got lonely and jealous of her and i almost killed myself from cutting, then after being hospitalized and lots of counselling by complete fluke i met the most amazng guy. we were best friends for two years and then three months ago we started dating. my point is that hurting yourself will only make things worse, you need to see yourself for how truly beautiful you are. and as for guys? hun youl meet the right guy when you least expect it and when your not looking. :)
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- 9 years ago
my friend used to cut her arms when she was upset but she wasn't emo. I told her to do this: All the way up on both arms draw a heart for each person you truly care about and love. When you feel the urge to cut yourselves you'll look at the hearts and won't want to hurt the people you love and care for most in your life. My friend stop cutting herself. She even got the hearst tatooed on her arms thats how much it meant to her. Don't cut yourself. The pain only stops for a little while. Another is: be truthful with your parents kay? It doesn't matter, they're your parents they'll understand
- 9 years ago
What seems to help imo is to actually cut a tiny bit then make a promise to someone that you care about never to do it again, try to find someone over the internet in another country or something that you can talk to about your problems (No need to fear that they will tell anyone, because if they dont it wont get back to you/your friends)
^Most people will say thats bad advice but you judge. Whatever makes you feel better.
Most guys wont say your pretty because they dont want to look like they like you. Dont take it offensively please.
Aslong as your not skinny enough to see your heartbeat/over weight enough not to be able to see the floor your at a decently balanced weight..Source(s): What I did
- Anonymous9 years ago
Get a pen-pal but with email. Be friends with someone who knows nothing about you. Just dont give them your real name or location or anything they can use to find you and it's good. Talking to peole like that helped me.
- 9 years ago
Wen u say ur prnts take things lik this 2 the extremes cuz it is extreme!!! Cuttin is a serious issue just tell them & they will give u th help u need.
- Anonymous9 years ago
cutting will only temporally solve problems and only in some cases. just develop something else u like to do a hobby.Source(s): me