Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 9 years ago

ex husband harassing and exploits kids?

My ex husband calls and harasses me all the time, especially when he has the kids. First of all, I have full physical custody, we have joint legal. He has them every other weekend and Monday and Tuesday evenings when I had classes...manipulated me into that one.

He has an alcohol problem which I can only prove with witnesses and a drug problem which no one will testify to because they don't want to get caught. He has just gotten off probation for domestic violence (in front of our young kids).

An example of his psychotic antics: the other day he had the kids, he texted several time saying that my daughter wanted to talk to me. I ignored it at first because I knew he was just doing it to harass me. I did call after about 2 hours of texts and calls. Then he wouldn't let me talk to her. So after arguing with him for a few minutes, I deemed the conversation pointless and hung up. He called several more time, leaving 8 voicemails saying my daughter was in the ER. One time, he was even crying. I did not answer but started calling local ER's and found out she was not there. He also texted my sister and harassed her calling her names then started saying he considered her family and loves her...not like that but as family. He wanted her to get a hold of me. She finally started ignoring him. I have several texts, 8 voicemails and her texts to prove his actions.

What can I do? He lies to my kids and tells them he loves me and then they see him sleeping with the woman he had an affair with. (He moved in with her shortly after our divorce). He lies to me and to the kids and it's confusing and manipulating to me and the kids. I can't take it anymore. I am at the end of my rope. The kids were happy and well adjusted when he hadn't seen them for a while...he had an extremely excessive amount of alcohol and a rifle in the house, right by the door and I refused to take them over. Again, he was on probation and an officer I called over, simply asked him if he had those things to which he replied "no" and the officer left.

I am a good mother, work full time, school for criminal justice full time, my kids and I are Christian, I have class and good morals. I can't stand this nightmare. Please give some advice.

Update:

Sorry, extra info...we live in Michigan. I don't know whether there is anything I can do about it or if I must let him do what he does. His own family knows he is a compulsive liar and is manipulating but he'll act like an angel in court.

Update 2:

I filed this divorce myself with no attorney. I asked for full physical custody and joint legal and i agreed to every other weekend because i knew the court would want him to see them sometime. I am the one who organized this custody arrangement but that doesn't mean I know how to deal with a psycho ex.

I have a straight talk phone, it forwards the messages to email but without any dates or times. I can't figure out any other way to print them or back them up.

9 Answers

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  • L S
    Lv 6
    9 years ago
    Best Answer

    U need to get a lawyer so u can protect ur kids from this man. Start documenting all his harassment so the lawyer can better understand the situation.

  • 4 years ago

    1

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  • Al B
    Lv 7
    9 years ago

    You need to go to court and modify the visitation agreement. Perhaps get the court to order him to undergo alcohol and drug testing and wear a monitor for that. Print out a copy of all the texts he has sent you and your sister if you have a way to do that and take those into court with you. Ask to have the visitation supervised only whether at your house, a police station, or somewhere else that comes to mind. The less time your kids are exposed to his behavior, the better off they will be in the long run.

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    DUDE! Save those texts and emails for court. They are evidence of mental instability or at least a drinking problem. You can't live like this. Plus who's paying attention to the kids when he's drunk and harassing you and your family? What a freaking psycho! Gotta head back to court with this evidence, Hon. And get an order of restraint while you're at it. He's the sort of whack job that'll flip his lid and hurt you, or the kids. I say hurry up.

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  • 9 years ago

    Request a psychological exam in court, and make sure to provide any and all documentation. Keep a calendar and write down daily incidents. The more you have documented, the better, because the courts always want documentation and proof, and you show that you are diligent and a record keeper, you will fare far better off than he will!

  • LIPPIE
    Lv 7
    9 years ago

    Save all of the text and print them out. Save everything you can , one day he will go to far and you will be able to get him for harassment. Talk to a lawyer and see if there is anything you can do to get this guy away from you. You will have to go to court, but you will have to have proff that these things are happening.

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    He can't lie and manipulate the court system IF you will keep his voicmails and messages...Make a log of his calls and his conversations, go file for full custody with supervised visitation UNTIL he can get his head right---he sounds crazier than sh!t...

  • 9 years ago

    ok true your kids need a father. but not one like him, sweetheart you need to cut this man out of you and your families life for good! meaning he can't see the kids, and you should get a restricted order on him, that includes him not calling or texting you.

  • 9 years ago

    The same people who organised the custody will be able to organise this further.

    Keep these texts, and these voicemails, and show it to them.

    Dont take them to his house.

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