Family Planning for Christians?

This is a question for fellow Christians or those who have read the bible thoroughly. While I appreciate the advice of atheists as well, I would like to make a decision based on scripture. I am 27 years old and planning to marry my boyfriend within the next year. We are both new Christians at a nondenominational Christian church, and have recently begun attending classes for engaged couples. We commented in class one day that we really are not interested in having any children, and the church leaders expressed disappointment in our choice. That said it was our Christian duty to basically "be fruitful and multiply". Is there any scripture that supports the choice not to procreate? I grew up in a very abusive foster home, and lived through the murders of my mother and siblings. I simply do not have the desire to raise a child in this world. Before becoming a Christian, I was sexually active and practiced safe sex with condoms and birth control. Due to my conversion, my current boyfriend and I have chosen to wait for marriage, and are just now facing the issue of the morality of birth control. I don't want to have 19 kids and counting! I've really been anxious about this decision lately, and would appreciate your advice.


I appreciate the genuine advice I'm receiving, and am disappointed by the snarky comments. I hardly think Jerry Springer or Oprah would be interested in my story, or likely to help me in any way, but thanks for your concern.

Update 2:

Burning Bush: I believe you misunderstood me. My boyfriend does not want children either. I will make sure to honor, love, and obey my husband to the same extent that he honors, loves, and protects me. Unfortunately, I believe some people have twisted the scripture out of context when it comes to the way a wife should treat her husband. You appear to be one of them.

13 Answers

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    The ancient Israelites were especially concerned about bringing forth children because of God’s promise to make them a mighty nation and because through them would come the seed of Abraham by means of whom all the families of the earth would bless themselves. (Ge 28:14) Having many children was considered a blessing from God. (Ps 127:3-5; 128:3-6) Sterility was looked on as a reproach.—Ge 30:23.

    Now a days there are some who refrain from having children but this must be done for the right reason. For example, some Jehovah's Witness do the following:

    Joy and Responsibility

    Jehovah’s people recognize that while there is joy in rearing children, there is also responsibility. The Bible, at 1 Timothy 5:8, says: “Certainly if anyone does not provide for those who are his own, and especially for those who are members of his household, he has disowned the faith and is worse than a person without faith.”

    Parents must provide for their families both materially and spiritually, and this takes considerable time and effort. They do not have the attitude that since God provides children, it is left to God to care for them. They realize that rearing children according to Bible principles is a full-time responsibility assigned by God to parents; it is not one that should be delegated to others.—Deuteronomy 6:6, 7.

    The task of rearing children is especially difficult in these “last days” of “critical times hard to deal with.” (2 Timothy 3:1-5) Apart from worsening economic conditions, the increasing godlessness of society adds to the challenges of child rearing today. Even so, throughout the world, countless Christian couples have taken up this challenge and are successfully rearing godly children “in the discipline and mental-regulating of Jehovah.” (Ephesians 6:4) Jehovah loves and blesses these parents for their hard work.

    Why Some Remain Childless

    Many Christian couples, on the other hand, do not have children. Some are infertile and yet do not adopt children. Other couples who have the ability to produce offspring decide not to do so. Such couples do not remain childless because they shirk responsibility or are afraid to meet the challenges of parenthood. Rather, they have determined to give their full attention to different avenues of the full-time ministry that the rearing of children would not allow. Some serve as missionaries. Others serve Jehovah in the traveling work or at Bethel.

    Like all Christians, they realize that there is an urgent work to do. Jesus said: “This good news of the kingdom will be preached in all the inhabited earth for a witness to all the nations; and then the end will come.” This work is being done today. It is a vital work, since “the end” will mean destruction for those who have not heeded the good news.—Matthew 24:14; 2 Thessalonians 1:7, 8.

    Ours is a period similar to the time when Noah and his family constructed the gigantic ark that preserved them through the great Flood. (Genesis 6:13-16; Matthew 24:37) Although Noah’s three sons were all married, none fathered children until after the Deluge. One reason for that may have been that these couples wanted to devote their full attention and energy to the work at hand. Another may have been reluctance to bring children into a debased and violent world where “the badness of man was abundant . . . and every inclination of the thoughts of his heart was only bad all the time.”—Genesis 6:5.

    While this does not imply that it is wrong to have children today, many Christian couples decline to have children so as to become more fully involved in the urgent work that Jehovah has given his people to do. Some couples have waited for a time before having children; others have decided to remain childless and consider the possibility of bearing children in Jehovah’s righteous new world.

    In regards to Birth Control, JW have also published some articles that are based on the Bible. Email me and I will send them to you. There is even some articles that talk about sterilization. These articles where intended for Jehovah's Witness but anyone who is not a JW can still benefit from the council there given that they are based on the Bible. So email me and I wil give you more information.

    There is a lot more to consider on this subject.


    If you would like to know more about this and other themes, next time Jehovah's Witness come to your door, ask them for a free Bible study at your convenience. You will never regret all the knowledge you will acquire and remember that what you do with that knowledge is your choice.

    Knowledge + Application = Wisdom

    Source(s): The Bible w08 4/15 pp. 19-20 par. 13 Marriage and Parenthood in This Time of the End w00 8/1 p. 20 Why Do They Have No Children?
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  • 9 years ago

    Because you are a non-denominational Christian you are not under any restrictions imposed by the Catholic Pope about anything, including birth control.

    I don't know of any specific mention in the Bible regarding choosing not to have children however, there is a reference in 1 Corinthians 7:32-35 about the choice to marry or stay single and the principle in this Scripture is that the single person can focus more on serving God than the married person whose focus is divided, this could also be true for the couple who choose not to have children. Your attention as a couple may be more focused towards serving God than a couple whose attention is divided by the calls and demands of raising children. God Bless you both, the decision to have children or not rests solely between the two of you and God, not the Church you attend and especially not on the opinions of other Christians.

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  • 9 years ago

    There is no scripture that commands you to have children. There is no scripture that even recommends you should have children. Likewise, there is no scripture that says you shouldn't. There are scriptures that say children are a blessing. I never really believed that one until I had them. But regardless of that, your leaders are dead wrong to suggest it is your Christian duty to populate the world with Christian children. At your next meeting, you might bring up the verse that says it is better NOT to marry (Matthew 19:10-11; I Corinthians 7:8-9), and ask why they have classes for engaged couples in the first place if they are going to be THAT legalistic.

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  • 4 years ago

    Funny how pro-lifers take one type of late term abortion, such as second trimester abortion (called partial birth by the pro-lifers), then blast earlier, first trimester abortions and even hormonal contraception. If they're going to blast the destruction of fertilized eggs that don't implant (1/2 fail to do so naturally) , then why not rail about the loss of a sperm or egg? Why not declare the death of life each time a woman ovulates and doesn't become pregnant? Because if we didn't have family planning widely available, you'd see women bearing far more children than they would otherwise choose. Isn't it scary how many of them take this role if, "If you can't close your legs, you deserve the consequences?" As if childbearing should be a punishment for women, instead of a planned event, regardless? Ugh. P.S. Roe vs. Wade allows for bans on abortion after viability, in the sixth month. Get a clue, posters.

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  • 9 years ago

    Be fruitful does not necessarily mean to literally have children- it can also mean to just multiply the number of Christians around you! It means to turn others to God, so that they are saved.

    It is not a commandment of us to have children, and if it were a sin not to, that would be said much more clearly in the Bible. God has a different plan for every person- some people will stay single while being a missionary- they are still being fruitful!

    God asks us to pray to him and to put all of our anxieties on him. Pray about your situation, and be confident if your gut is telling you not to have kids, that you shouldn't have kids.

    When you get married, if you do not have kids, you should use birth control. God asks a wife's husband to rejoice in his wife's body, and sex is extremely important between married couples. God wants you to enjoy your blessings, that is why he created sex.

    If you believe that the pill itself is wrong, there are ways to naturally practice birth control- you just have to figure out your body's ovulating schedule. You could also just wear a condom.

    I think that it is awesome that you are choosing to wait until marriage. God has a plan for you, and you just have to put your trust in him. Remember- you only need to please God, not the members of your church.

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  • 9 years ago

    Well, nobody says you have to have 19 kids, or even two. But, it's your decision. The Word does tell Adam and Eve to bear children, but I don't think that counts for people today. Of course, having your own children could help you to heal from the problems you had earlier. I'm not sure how that correlates, but again, it's your decision.

    I do not know of any scripture that says not to procreate.

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  • 9 years ago

    Well, the scripture that says to have children is "be fruitful and multiply" but you already know that.

    It is not a "Christian duty" to have children. There is no scripture that says you are obligated to do so. If you are not comfortable having children -- and I can understand why you wouldn't be with your history -- then there's no need for you to have any.

    I think it's reasonable to ask your fellow church members to please show you why they think that's a requirement. I also think it's reasonable for you to disagree.

    I commend you on your new-found trust in Jesus, and especially in your desire to live out your faith and remain abstinent prior to marriage. That's an awesome testimony about the power of Christ in your and your willingness to live after him.

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  • 9 years ago

    sorry to hear what you went through. and thank-you for being a true and faithful christian, by waiting till marriage. you're a good role model, for other christians to look up to.

    since condoms and birth control pills are not 100% effective, you have a couple of options here - your boyfriend can eventually have a vasectomy, or you can get your tubes tied. plus, go to a different church that will accept your views.

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  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    The part of "multiplying" is Old Testament teaching, and is not adhered to nowadays; it's s personal choice as to whether marrieds want to have offspring or not.....................perhaps a Church that teaches Scripture correctly would be beneficial to you both

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  • 9 years ago

    Right, my two cents worth from a skeptic's point of view:

    Firstly, and I am not trying to be funny:

    Have sex at least a few times with this guy before you marry him. Sex changes MANY things and regardless of what the bible and tradition says it can save you alot of hassle in the future. (After all if we heeded all the bible was to tell us we would still be killing our children for not listening to us, yes the bible tells us to do that!)

    Secondly, this would be a subject I would approach with logic and not emotion as it's going to affect you for the rest of your life either way:

    I can recommend this video to help you:

    Youtube thumbnail

    When you use the formula he speaks about in this video and you have made the decision based on how it's going to affect you and others according to the "moral landscape" idea then you can believe that you have made the correct choice. Not what other people tell you who are never going to have to live with the consiquences of your choice now.

    Be selfish in this choice.

    Source(s): Logic and alot of research into many religions
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