Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 9 years ago

Asian Male, Dating Help?

(This Mainly Applies to Asian-American Males in North America)

Being an Asian American Male, we face a lot of negative stereotypes from the media.

A lot of Asian Guys often see Asian Girls with Guys of Another Race. But you almost never see Asian Guys with Girls of Another Race. Why is that?

First Outside Factors Not Involving an Asian Man Himself:

1. Asian American Males are portrayed by the media as wimpy, intelligent, nerdy, feminine, and asexual. In Fact, most Asian Men portrayed in Hollywood Media are intentionally portrayed unattractively.

2. You see many commercials, movies, and television shows that portray romance with Asian Women and Men of Another Race. But Rarely you see Asian Men being portrayed in a romantic/sexual matter anywhere in the media.

3. With the negative influence from the media, girls can never picture or imagine themselves being with an Asian Man. But they can with men of another race, because they've seen stories of being happily ever after with men of other colors. But Never with an East Asian Man. Because they never see it anywhere. Which makes it that much harder for them to open up to the possibility of it.

4. Because of the negative stereotypes Asian Men suffer, girls often gossip and make fun of Asian Guys. Many Girls say "Asian Guys are ugly (lol laughs)". "Asian Guys have small You knows." "Asian Guys are nice, and good Friend Types. But Never could be with them romantically". "Asian Guys Just Don't Do It For me For Some Reason". "I could never picture myself with an Asian Guy." "I can never be attracted to an Asian Guy". "Eww Asian Guys LOL" Etc... (I have either actually overheard or seen on the internet these types of messages from all types of girls).

5. Because of the Gossip and constant bad rep of Asian Guys going around the social scene of many girls around America. Girls who actually do feel attracted to Asian Guys, are too afraid to actually go for it, in fear of judgment and gossip from other Girls if they are seen with an Asian Guy Romantically.

6. Girls perceive Asian Guys to have low social value. If they date them all girls in their social circle will gossip and make fun of the couple. Or Make Fun of Her for Liking An Asian Guy. Therefore its better for girls to not take a chance, and keep her social rep and status safe.

Factors from Asian Guys Themselves:

1. Asians are raised to be polite, quiet, and not showy. This has excellent qualities to be accepted in society, but they are also perceived to be very feminine qualities. Asians should still be respectful and polite, but they need a backbone and respect their own needs instead of just for others.

2. Asians have low self-esteem from the media. When you are seeing girls of your own race being sweeped off their feet by other guys, you feel there must be something wrong about us. You see the media constantly portraying Asian women being taken away by the dark tall handsome Caucasian male everywhere. Like Asian Guys are never meant to have romantic relationships, not even with their own race. Therefore, they don't know anything about themselves that appeals to women. Why should they when they don't see it or have examples/role models to follow?

3. When you hardly ever see Asian Guys dating Girls. How do you get an idea how to date someone? Asian guys just feel there is nothing appealing about themselves to girls. So they don't even bother. White Guys speak-well, are handsome with great Hair. Black Guys are Tall, Dark, Handsome, and well-built very masculine. Latino Guys are passionate and romantic with spanish/latin flavor. Middle Eastern Men have beautiful eyes and great features. Us Asian Guys?: We are seen as short, wimpy, and too uptight. As Seen by most girls. Or that is what we believe.

4. The completely ruined self-esteem comparing ourselves to guys of other race makes us feel even more inferior deep down inside that we won't admit. You don't see any of our guys dating girls of other race, like other guys do. Girls talk *bleep* about us. We have low social value too many people. Just too nice, but the friend type.

Now the Main Focus of the Topic: What should Asian Guys do to improve their success in Dating and their masculine image overall? (With all the negative portrayal and stereotypes of the media).


Here are my solutions to help:

Asian Guys need to embrace that they are masculine/sexual beings. That girls do like us and appreciate us, and we don't need other people or the media to tell us that.

Girls are natrually attracted to guys, and Asian guys are no different. We are still guys. How we naturally act as guys attract girls. Embrace the power of being naturally masculine to women.

Don't be a pushover to Girls. Girls want a real man, whos in control and stands up for himself.

Flirt with a girl, get out of your comfort zone of shyness, and realize you are the prize to the girl, and that there if she doesn't want to go for you. Its her lost, not yours, theres plenty of fish in the sea.

11 Answers

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    I really like this post (:

    Source(s): Latina who likes asian guys.
  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    Q: What should Asian Guys do to improve their success in dating and their masculine image overall?

    1. Kick Chuck Norris's a$$.

    2. Play more American Football.

    3. Ride H-D motorcycles (not Yamaha, Kawasaki, Suzuki.)

    4. Bang Katie Couric.

    OK, those were meant in HUMOR.


    You're asking how ONE GUY can change the stereotyped perception of an entire ethnic group.


    Face it.

    We know not all Jews and Scots are "cheap";

    not all Pollacks are stupid;

    not all Mexicans are car thieves;

    not all Irish are drunks;

    not all Brits have bad teeth;

    not all Blacks prefer fried chicken & watermellon (& bananas);

    not all Italians are in the Mafia;

    but all Puerto-Ricans carry cans of spray paint at all times.....


    My advice:

    let gals get to know you as an INDIVIDUAL.

    Not as an "asian" guy.

    But "another" guy.

    If you make a big deal out of your ethnicity,

    so will everyone around you.

    If you've never seen it,

    watch Mel Brook's movie, "Blazing Saddles".

    It's hilarious.

    And makes fun of ALL ethnic groups:

    n-ggers, ch-nks, f-gs, ... and the irish too.

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    I feel your pain.

    Let me ask you, what's wrong with simply dating another Asian female?

    Another Asian female most likely will also be aware of these stereotypes and see through the absurdity of them.

    Don't you think that there are some Asian females that do not want to be used or abused by males who are not Asian that go under the assumption that every Asian female is of the "me love you long time" variety?

    Perhaps you could get help from two Asian traditions that are stereotypes that may help. One is martial arts. Kung Fu. Karate. Originally it came from Japan and spread to China from the Sho Lin monks. You can also learn meditation.

    There are many Asian things from which you can learn to be a great lover to women and overcome most obstacles. Many of the drugs used to help with male sex problems like Viagra and Levitra derive from ancient Asian medicinal remedies.

    There is a guy on the Internet that has a business in which he helps men to become more desirable lovers to women. He has all these tips and suggestions. He is Chinese.

    Yin- Yang. For every action in nature there is a greater or equal opposite reaction. For every stereotype of a race or believe there are an equal number of exceptions.

    The problem is not that others believe these stereotypes but that you have allowed yourself to become a victim of stereotypes.

  • 9 years ago

    You seem to push the negative stereo type... There are other stereo types that you can also push which are positive influences;

    Smart, good family values, polite, considerate.

    If you want to excel in a "sport" that shows off asian males athletic abilities; Take a Martial Art. Asian men usually don't have the size or strength of men from other cultures. I can testify that my wife feels safe when I'm around because of my martial arts training and was an important factor with her while we were dating. (imho, learning a martial art is very important for any asian male.)

    If you want to excel in being a scholar and a gentleman, polite, considerate...; Learn Analects of Confucius. (apply it to everybody you meet, not just your grandparents.)

    If you want to know how handle your enemies: Study Sun Tzu's Art of War. (I recommend Ralph Sawyer's Translation.)

    If you want to be cautious of those who wrong you: Study 36 Stratagems of Ancient China, I wouldn't necessarily advise putting them into practice... but those who are less scrupulous will, and you should be aware of the abhorrent behaviors of those who would attack you.


    Ok here is what we all need to do as asian men that will change things: Too many asian fathers are chauvinistic.... They treat sons better than daughters, their daughters feel as though they are second class citizens. Should your dad ask you to go fishing, shooting, horse back riding, go to a ball game, or what ever, even para sailing... your sister wants to come, and your dad say's "it's a boy thing, girls don't do that." As a brother you have to stand up for her, insist it's OK for her to come along. As a father you must treat your daughters better, as well as or even better than sons. Over time this will turn the attitudes around with asian women... that's the first step needed in changing the attitudes of asian men. Regain the pride asian women have in asian men first then as time goes on others will follow.-- The rejection of asain women towards asian men boils down to being raised by double standards. Treat your daughters as princesses and cherish them... when they grow up they will want a husband and father of their children to be a reflection of her own father. Treat them poorly, they will look for anything but an asian guy to be a husband and the father of her children.

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    Dude, I am so sick of hearing people with low self esteem blame outside sources for their unhappiness. Instead of doing something about it because that's hard.


    1) If you are unhappy with your physical looks you have to highlight what advantages you do have.

    I'll start with one you don't have and that's self esteem. GET SOME.

    2) If you are upset with your body lift a dumb bell and do some sit ups. I used to be really skinny and nerdy too. But I ended up going to the gym 4 times a week. Im still a nerd but I gained 35 lbs. So now I'm a 6'0 180 lb nerd. I played video games, my face was always broken out, I was bullied. So, I laugh at anyone who says their situation is worse. it's all the same.

    3)You have something alot of guy's don't have and that's a rich culture. Hell my culture seems to be Nascar and Beer. I'm not complaining I make jokes of it. You need to use what you have again.

    4)Yes, The Media that's a great place to get information! Because all those rappers really get all the bitches? Yet they have to pay the girls to go on a video with them?

    5) THIS ONE MAY BE A SHOCKER! I KNOW A COUPLE ASIAN GUYS WHO GET LOTS OF GIRLS AND IT ISN'T THEIR LOOKS,OR HEIGHT,OR ABILITY TO MAKE A WoW Character level 80 in 8 days(Although, that's quite impressive.) MAYBE JUST MAYBE IT'S THEIR PERSONALITY?They don't make apology's for themselves, they know who they are and own it.

    6) You need some self esteem books first, and then look up some Pick Up Artist books, and realize your unhappiness right now is because of you so do something about it, before you go your whole life dateless with the world to blame besides yourself.

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    You should really try dating a black girl. They have similiar issues dating their own race so they will be able to relate. On top of that if you get with a black girl people will think you have a big "you know what". But yeah try talking to a sweet blck girl.

  • 9 years ago

    I have nothing to contribute except that asian guys are effin hot. And many other people feel this way :D

  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    Bla bla bla. Just go out there and be confident.

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    you serious dude? i have never faced discrimination from being asian-american. you are making a mountain out of a molehill. it seems that you have given a lot of thought into this. i suggest that you ignore all these stereotypes since they are never true.

    Source(s): grew up in southern california. people are very tolerant and open-minded here.
    • 6 years agoReport

      you are an idiot.

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.