Im being abused... how do I get out?
I literally just sat here and cried as I read this website. http://helpguide.org/mental/domestic_vio...
because he does almost all of these things. Accept not anything sexual because he is my father.
Heres the short story him and my mother have not taken the initiative to teach me how to be a adult (driving, getting a job, going to college) basically anything that includes me providing for myself.
I am 21 and literally my mother finally gave me the money to take drivers ed but her and my dad have refused to teach me how to drive. I had a job when I was 18 but I quit once I started college I was only making about 7 an hour which was hardly enough to buy my own ANYTHING. I enrolled in college and will be graduating with my A.S this May. However, the university I was planning on transferring to is an hour away and my parents refused me a car if I want to go there, they told me they wont give me rides there.. and they want me to go to another college in a different state which is closer means an extra 2 more years of college... and the other colleges program is 1 year which means I could move out and have a career by the time I am 23. They throw fits if I leave my hour for more then 2-4 hours, the call me over and over sometimes and I cannot even have friends at my house because my father thinks they are all going to hell and he wants to lecture them and get them saved.
My father makes me feel like I am nothing, he used to literally beat me with belts and switches and social services came to my house once and the cops came once but no one ever changed or did anything. He still threatens to hit me when I make him mad. He threatens to financially disown me, he is trying to control where I go to school so I have to live with him as long as he can make me. He yells at me for everything he makes me feel guilty like I am doing something wrong 24/7. I don't have the holy spirit, I watch crap on tv, listen to trashy music, I need to tell all my friends to go to church, he knows I have sex with my boyfriend and I am an adulterer, he says I think I know everything because I go to college but I know nothing, I don't read the bible enough, I don't respect my mother...
from that website he does all these things.
feel afraid of your partner much of the time?
avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner?
feel that you can’t do anything right for your partner?
believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated?
wonder if you’re the one who is crazy?
feel emotionally numb or helpless?
humiliate or yell at you?
criticize you and put you down?
treat you so badly that you’re embarrassed for your friends or family to see?
ignore or put down your opinions or accomplishments?
blame you for his own abusive behavior?
have a bad and unpredictable temper?
hurt you, or threaten to hurt or kill you?
control where you go or what you do?
keep you from seeing your friends or family?
limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?
constantly check up on you?
When I was younger I used to rebel and he would hit me, and I know if I comply with everything he wants he wont hit me and he doesn't get mad most days. But I am tired of it... telling me where to go to school was the final breaking point. I feel broken like I cannot be myself I feel trapped and unhappy and hurt.
I honestly and truthfully at the age of 21 have NO IDEA how to move out on my own. I don't see how anyone is supporting themselves right now I don't know what kind of job I can get with an incomplete medical field education and a 3 almost 4 year gap in job experience.
How do I get out? What are my options?
I am also afraid he will get angry and want to hit me if I try and leave.