My bf's mother doesn't want me to spend christmas with their family, should I break up with him?
We have been going out for 2 years. He is white, I'm asian. His parents live in another city. We met a couple of times before but only for a couple of hours each time.
One year ago, my bf went to visit his parents for 2 weeks. He missed me very much during the visit and wanted me to go there too to spend the rest 3 days with him and his family, but his mom stopped me from going. She said the time was not right and she wasn't prepared. This year my bf and his whole family are going to Mexico to spend the christmas there. He wanted me to come with him, but his mom stopped me from going again. He told me that his mom said maybe next year is a better time. My bf said his dad is OK with that.
My bf has a good relationship with his family, he is 40, very smart and has a great career. He said he is very sorry about it and he is disappointed at his mom. But I know he is not going to fight with his mom. now I'm thinking maybe I should leave him, not because of his mom, but obviously he doesn't care too much for me.
- TamaraLv 61 decade agoFavorite Answer
At first, I was going to say don't allow the mom come between the two of you, thinking you were younger. Now that you mentioned he is 40, I feel you need to run like the wind away from this mama's boy! He will never change. It doesn't sound like a race issue, if you were hinting at it. It sounds like mom is controlling and he doesn't know how to stand up to her. You would ALWAYS be second.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Tell him that he either stands up to his mother and gets you to come along or he stays home and spends christmas with you. You should never be seperated during holidays, thats one of the best times to have someone else in ur life. If he still goes without you and doesnt accept that he shouldnt be letting his mother push him around when hes 40... RUN!!! cause he'll always be a mommas boy unless hes pushed a little bit.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Holidays and family time is very important to some people, if he has such a great career which you admire it was because of the work ethics they instilled in him,
the desire to succeed, and to continue as a devoted family member. Not so much we Americans perhaps but i have lived in other countries and you wouldn't think of imposing on their family value system, such as a Greek family..
He is 40 and he does as he pleases. Did you previously say you are 22? do you want this older white American because you see your future comfortable financially with him?
When my husband's friend flew to the Philippines he said they are 100% gold diggers, who stare and smile at white men, everywhere he went. The females don't want a struggling young man their own age.
Be more independent, make your own plans. I believe they see you jockeying for position as his future wife.
- please try againLv 51 decade ago
2 years should be long enough for his mom to accept that you are now the woman in his life, not her. I wouldn't go so far as to say he doesn't care that much about you, just that he hasn't learned how to stand up to his mother (and probably never will if he's 40). This is a call you're going to have to make.
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- hot lipsLv 61 decade ago
OMG I thought it was an 18 yo initially. You tell that boy that you want to be with a grown man. A 40 yo tagging along with mommy and daddy and can't do this and can't do that is totally unacceptable. If you don't want this to happen again next xmas you need to end it now.
- 1 decade ago
i would leave him he is not a baby no more he shouldnt be asking him mom what can he do or not do..if he loved you he would take you with him and if his family dont like you well screw them is not like you is going to be in a relation ship with his mom.. maybe there is something else going on
- ?Lv 61 decade ago
Your boyfriend is a coward and sucks azz. A grown man of 40 shouldn't be worried what mommy says. Id leave him.
- No More AbuseLv 71 decade ago
Don't allow someone to have the power in your relationship..stand your ground with his mother and explain to your boyfriend how you are feeling..
- 1 decade ago
Don't split up with your boyfriend it's nt his fault why don't you try and make amends with his mum and dad or maybe tell them that your not going anywhere and they have to deal with the fact your seeing their son
- Wisen SmartLv 71 decade ago
You should leave him for sure not only because of his lack of love for you, not only because of his mom, but because he is a total retard!