im a college student living at home, what freedoms should i get?

Im nineteen and living at home while attending community school full time. I also have a full time job for the past year and have good grades. I have car payments, pay for each semester in cash( from my job) because they wont help me with college. pay for my own groceries and food, i bought all my books and art supplies(200$ semester)

gas each week, and basically everything else besides my car insurance and phone bill. I make a grand a month.

Everynight is a battle between me and my parents. They are super strict and even though they have mellowed out i still have rules i have to follow. I feel like i cant do anything without letting them know who im with or what im doing.

I have to lie each weekend to avoid fights, my weekends consit of me working, going out to a party, and then going to spend the night at my boyfriends. This is the one thing the are so against. Now that its snowing and i have to drive back roads, i just feel like it would be more convenient for me to spend the night there.

My parents finally told me that i can stay out till two on weekdays and go out to parties on weekends, but i doubt they will stick to it. My parents told me they would let me spend the night at my boyfriends house if they talked to his parents, but his parents dont want to deal with drama because my parents are so crazy so they refuse to talk to them.

what rules do other college students living at home have?

i feel like its a little different for me since i pay for my college and everything else.

9 Answers

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  • 4 years ago

    In the US, the majority of college students live at home. Seriously. While at your college the majority might live on campus, at least a decent proportion of them will be locals living at home. Really. Most colleges even have "commuter clubs" and commuter lounges for commuter students to use, where you can meet other people who commute to school. So while yes, most students at your school may live on campus, at least some decent proportion will not, so you're not alone. In addition, commuter students can make friends with on-campus students, if you make the effort to do so. Yes, it'll be harder to do, if you're not living on campus. But it's not impossible. You'd need to put yourself out there, though - join clubs and etc. And if you're not willing to do that, that's your decision. Your living at home will only be an issue with other students if you make it one. If you don't treat it like it's a big deal, they won't, either. If you don't want a boyfriend, don't have one. It's not a requirement. And if you simply just need a break to get over the jerk who dumped you, that's okay, too. If your self confidence doesn't return, the consider counselling. The student health center will have counsellors on staff who are familiar with student issues, so don't be shy about seeing someone if you think it'll help. Sometimes, it's just good to have someone impartial to talk things over with. If possible, try to do a national or international student exchange for a semester, a year, or a summer. In this way, you can have some independence for a bit while in college - a bit of freedom, if only for a short time. And plan to move away when you graduate, if you want to. Yeah, your college situation may not be ideal, but afterwards, you'll have more freedom. Go to grad school in a big city. Move to Boston for work. Do something special then, so you can establish your own life. And you - YOU - chose to only apply to this one university. No excuses. Don't blame others. You did that. You chose it. If you don't want to stay there, transfer; but you need to take over setting the direction for your life, and you can't wait for your mom to do it. You want out? You get out. Transfer. BTW, not all professors are going to let you get away with the "no group assignment" thing you were able to do at community college. You can *try*, but I, for one, would make you do the group assignment, and would fail you on it if you did not, so be prepared.

  • 1 decade ago

    1. It is their house so they set the rules. Someone who comes home late tends to wake up the people in the house. They have the right to sleep peacefully.

    2. Who will keep you and a baby if you get pregnant? Staying over can lead to pregnancy. If you cannot raise a child between you and your boyfriend, they have every right to be worried and set rules.

    3. They know your personality and are in a better position to decide on the rules. They also deserve to be free from worries about how you will get home when driving in the snow.

  • mJc
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Oh joy, you're attending community college and working part-time. So is the rest of the world. Until you are a parent, you can't understand the stress of having an adult child living at home. In your parent's hearts and minds you are still their "baby"... it is what it is. When you're out and about, they're going to worry (and they'll worry themselves sick until they know you're home safe and sound). If you want independence and freedom, then you need to get your own place.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Well it seems pretty simple actually... your freedom depends on your parents..if your living there you gotta follow there rules if you don't like it you gotta move out that's all there is to it everyone is different but if there just ur land lords then they have no real right to know where Ur at and such if you pay rent then you should be able to go out when ever.. but its there house and there rules i recommend after getting your payments and such done getting out of there to avoid trouble :P

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  • 1 decade ago

    Agree with other posters - if you want it your way, move out. It's as simple as that. I lived at home with my parents for awhile when I was starting University, and sometimes it was really lame (similiar to your situation), but a person has to suck it up. It's their house, and their rules, and honestly you should be thankful that they're letting you stay there so you don't have to incur huge student loans.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    all you have to remember is that you are living under your parents roof. you can try and just sit down and have a long talk to them. The other option is to just move out :)

  • 1 decade ago

    I can understand where you're coming from. That is a tough one, as you are living under their roof and they seem to enjoy having what they think is 'control/power' over most things you do, because you're living 'under their roof"*.

    Try sitting down with them and talking with them, letting them know that you're 19 now, and have been raised wonderfully by them, you know right from wrong and you hope that they can now let you be the young woman they've raised. Let you continue making your own decisions in life...moving forward in life...finishing sschool, working, paying for everything....and you would appreciate it if they would allow you to continue growing up into a fine young woman, ..if you make mistakes you have only yourself to blame, and will take full responsibility* Let them know that in the winter months, sometimes it'll be unsafe to drive, and you hope they "Trust" you to 'sleep over at your boyfriends house". You're 19 and don't want your mum to have to have conversations with his mum..You're an "Adult" and want to be treated as one~* No need to argue and fight with them, just talk to them and ask them to Listen to what you're saying* You'll always be their baby girl and you know they're looking out for you, but to spend the night at your b/f house when they know he lives at home* is not unreasonable.

    Soon you can save up for first and last months rent somewhere, and you can move out and into your own place, maybe evn with your b/f if he's working full time also.*you 2 can eventually move in together also. But start off by getting your own place when you can afford it in the new year perhaps. And stand on your own 2 feet* Start planning now*...ask your parents to help you reach your goal, and what do you have to do to start planning........(buying things for your home...glasses, dishes, cutlery, cheese grater, containers to store food in fridge/freezer, towels, sheets, furniture, vacuume, ) when you see things on sale, over the next year, you can pick them up and store them away till you're able to move out*~ along with putting a bit of $ aside each pay towards first and last months rent, your hookup fees for your cable, phone, heat....for groceries ...just plan a budget out along with the things you need*.....start from there*

    GoodLuck*

    Communication Trust Honesty & Respect are the Keys to a long healthy relationship without those you have nothing*

    So try sitting with your parents and let them know how you're feeling and hope they can Trust and Respect you enough to allow you to continue to make your own decisions as a young adult* Let them know you won't be disrespectful to them, they've raised you wonderfully and now you can begin showing them*

  • me
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    they don't have to let you live in their house. just move out then you can do what you want.

  • 1 decade ago

    none, they are doing you a favor by letting you live with them still.

    you want things youre way, get your own place

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