Is my poem any good? Leave a comment.?

Well it's about a girl's first kiss, but I don't know if it's good or anything (I've never been on a date, let alone be kissed). So... please read it and rate it. If you don't like it, tell me how I can make it better. Also, I think it might be done but tell me if it needs something else. Thanks! (Also feel free to share how you felt if you think it could make my poem better.)

Update:

Oops! Sorry-here it is.

We breathed in the clean winter air

As your eyes outshone the blue moon.

I fidgeted with my dark hair

And heard wind sigh a loving tune.

The scent of grass under our feet

And nightingales chirping o’erhead

Made the memory even more sweet

Of when you let our young love spread.

You came close and touched my red cheek-

I was so exhilarated! -

I saw you and felt small and meek

For this day was long awaited.

In slow motion you leaned toward me

And I shut my eyes for the kiss

I wonder if you’ll really be

“The One” and not another miss.

As our lips met for the first time,

I shut my eyes in gleeful peace.

As perfect as a sweet song’s rhyme,

I hoped our melody wouldn’t cease.

4 Answers

Relevance
  • Cinna
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Your poem was not posted but your idea sounds like a good idea.Remember poetry is self expression and the best poems come from what is in your heart.

  • 1 decade ago

    Um... maybe if you posted your poem I could tell you if it was good, but I don't see it.

  • 1 decade ago

    i feel as though that would have been really good but you didnt post your peom!!! i am a pretty good poet so if u could please post your poem i would LOVE to read it!!

  • 1 decade ago

    your poem isn't there and I like the name skye

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