My friend is dating a total TOOL and I'm sick of hearing about it.?

First I wasn't saying anything i would just listen and be supportive but that got old really quick she's always compalining about him and telliing me about how he treats her and he constantly makes her cry and she comes crying to me about it. I started telling her more honestly what i thought about the whole relationship. (He's a jerk and you shouldn't be with him) she acknowledges that i'm right but yet there she is the next day back to "Oh he apologized we're good again" yeah until next weekend. He's a punk he doesn't take her around his friends he picks fights with her if she doesn't answer his call, he's the worse of the worse. me telling her what I think isn't helping, me staying quiet wasn't helping so what should I do. It's getting old I don't think she's gonna leave him unless he cheats and maybe not even then. I'm just tired of hearing about the same crap. I would be a bad friend if I said "I don't want to hear it anymore" wouldn't i? Should i just suck it up and be supportive until it ends or "works out"?


FORGOT TO MENTION, she's 27 and he's 25 so these are adults not some high school drama relationship even though it sounds like it.

3 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Well since the beginning of time friends have complained to their friends about their mate, this is what friends do. I don't think you should tell her you dont want to hear about her problems anymore, that would be mean!! Your her friend the one person whom she feels she can talk to about anything, and its good for her to get it off her chest right? I have a few issues with my husband and I talk to my best friend, which just so happens to be my sister, about it all the time!! She gets angry when she hears most of the things my husband does and most of the time she tells me I need to teach him a lesson and leave and things of that nature, and I appreciate her concern, But the fact of the matter is, when your friend is discussing her problems with you, she dont want to hear what you think she should do about it, she is, like I said before, just plainly getting it off her chest.

    No matter how hard we try to talk our friends or family into leaving someone its completely up to them rather or not they are actually gonna do it, so just be a good friend and be there for her...from time to time remind her of how pretty she is and what a good person she is and eventually, if its not meant to be, she will leave him!! Hope this helps:)

    Source(s): Im a woman
  • 1 decade ago

    Been there! It's great that you are trying to be a good friend. My opinion is that a person should not support a fiend's bad decisions. I get that you want to support her and not necessarily her decision, but personally, I don't have time for it. I have zero tolerance for someone who complains about something that they are not willing to fix. This is one of those things that could go either way, but if it were me, I would tell her that I don't want to hear another word about it. It's like someone who keeps sticking their hand in a fire and then complains that it burns. You are obviously a good friend, but don't let your friends self induced problems negatively affect your life.

  • 1 decade ago

    Simple words, spoken with thoughtful calm attitude...

    "Your my friend. I care about you, but I can't listen and watch you go downhill and throw your life away like this. I have to step back a while because it hurts me so much to see this happening to you. I have tried, but I can't do anything about it".

    However, it sounds like both him and her are not grown up enough to be dating...

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.