Anonymous asked in Entertainment & MusicJokes & Riddles · 1 decade ago

What's the funniest joke you've ever heard?

6 Answers

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    A man goes into the doctor for a check up and asks "Alright doc, what's up?" the doctor with a concerned look tells the patient "Well I know this much, you're gonna have to stop masturbating." "WHY?!" The man replies. The doctor says "Because I'm trying to give you a physical for goodness sake!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Teacher: What are some products of the West Indies?

    Student: I don't know.

    Teacher: Of course, you do. Where do you get sugar from?

    Student: We borrow it from our neighbor.

    A man receives a phone call from his doctor.

    The doctor says, "I have some good news and some bad news."

    The man says, "OK, give me the good news first."

    The doctor says, "The good news is, you have 24 hours to live."

    The man replies, "Oh no! If that's the good news, then what's the bad news?"

    The doctor says, "The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday."

    "This birthday cake certainly is crunchy."

    "Maybe you should spit out the plate!

    Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing. I told my computer that today is my birthday, and it said that I needed an upgrade.

  • Joey D
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    This women is rushed to the hospital to have her baby, two hours later the doctor comes in to see her she says what happened? well we had to put you out because we had complications, well hows my baby? the doc says I got some bad news, well is my baby alive? yes but it was born with no legs oh my it could be worse, it is it has no arms oh my, well your baby is nothing but a head there can't be anything worse than that, its blind

  • 1 decade ago

    This ones a bit long but i found it funny :)

    St peter was under strict instruction that heaven was getting really full so he could only let certain people in, st peter decided that only people who had a really horrible day they died can get in... after a bit a man walks along, so st peter asks how was he died, "it was HORRIBLE, i found out that my wife was having an affair so i ran home to catch the b*st*rd and couldn't find him anywhere, until i looked out of my 7th story flat window to find a man clinging onto a brick below, i got so angry i threw a fridge at him but in doing so i had a stroke and died." st peter agreed this was really horrible and let him into heaven. Another man comes over so st peter asks him the same question, "it was HORRIBLE" the man replies,"I was doing aerobics next to my window when i fell out and managed to grab a brick halfway down this flat, when a man comes along and starts shouting at me and threw a fridge at me so i fell to my death." st peter let the man in, and chuckled to himself starting to enjoy his job. another man comes along, again st peter asks how he died to which he responded, "well picture this, i'm naked in a fridge..." :')

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  • succor
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    What do you get if you Google Chuck Norris?

    A black eye.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    God can take 2 cells and form a complete ahole.

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