You might be able to use mediation depending upon your state's laws. In many family law cases, including divorce and modification actions, the parties opt to try and resolve their differences through mediation. Mediation is a process in which litigants use a neutral third-party to facilitate settlement negotiations. The mediator has no authority in ordering a resolution. The parties still maintain 100% control over whether or not they reach an agreement. For those parties who are unable to reach agreement, they still have the right to try their case before a judge/jury.
Even if a mediator is used, it is always advised that you seek legal representation for your own interests when reviewing documentation, and most surely before you sign anything. It's not uncommon for people who haven't used attorneys to later on find out that something important was overlooked and they find themselves back in court going through a costly litigation procedure to resolve the issue.
You may want to check out dadsdivorce.com, even if you are not a father, as they cover some of the basics you are asking. Or you can submit a question through their Ask A Lawyer feature. The second link I gave is to their forum where you can talk with other guys who are considering, in the process of, or have gone through a divorce to get more insight.