Does this poem make senses?

How does this poem make sense to you? If not please let me know and what can I do to change it!!

I am a bird with a broken wing

I wonder if I will ever fly again.

I hear the rustling of the trees

I see the morning light is right

I want nothing more than flight.

I am a bird with a broken wing

I pretend that I am soaring high

I feel the wind is rushing by

I touch the clouds where I am safe.

I worry now that I'm fair game.

I cry and call out in pain

I am a bird with a broken wing.

I understand I may never fly

I say I will try and survive.

I dream of birds in flight and then

I try to fight with might.

I hope it rains tonight.

I am a bird with a broken wing.

6 Answers

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  • 9 years ago
    Best Answer

    yes it makes perfect sense and it's beautiful.

  • 9 years ago

    It does don't worry. That was actually really good, very melancholy and I think that people who have lost some ability or thing they held dear, or even seen it happen to someone, will be able to connect with it. The second stanza where the bird remembers flying, that made the story even more heart-wrenching. I don't know if that is what you were aiming for, but that is what I got from it, although I am in a depressed kind of mood so maybe that helped influence it. Otherwise though it definatly makes sense and is a really good read.

  • 4 years ago

    It shows a familiarity with the English language, and states that he is comfortable enough with the foreign language to skip some of the rules. But no, it doesn't seem like proper English. The first stanza is confusing because chatting, matting and dating; looking for the correct pronunciation is odd; when you read stanza two, then you can see the correct pattern and remove the first line is the rhyme scheme. The poem sounds as if he has a crush on you; I don't believe that it can be more than that when you haven't met. He wants to hook up as soon as he can with you. If you live in different parts of the world that make it impossible to meet, I'd keep it that way. In other words, I personally don't care for such judgmental people, so I wouldn't want to meet him. You decide for yourself. t

  • 9 years ago

    Yes kinda except I don't get the secong paraphase of I touch the cloud where I am safe

    Then cry out in pain and I don't understand how u hope it rains tonight and try to fly

    But the reest make sense

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  • jo
    Lv 6
    9 years ago

    The question "Does this poem make senses?" is poetic in itself.

    The text of the poem itself uses the word "I" 23 times, by my count. That is a bit tiresome, and it would be a bit tiresome and unproductive to discourage a young poet, so yes, keep it up.

  • ?
    Lv 4
    9 years ago

    It reminds me of that owl movie. lol

    anyway, it was interesting. but i think it was to long. almost as if you thought you hadn't wrote enough.

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