No future because I'm a loser?
*Thank you in advance. Im not going to edit...everything i wrote is what I feel...Please please help me find a solution..mb a life coach, maybe a clinic, toastmasters...anything please help...This is somewhat a back story and venting so here goes. I am extremely depressed right now because im looking at my life and clearly i have no future. Like i said im a loser. Whats pissing me off even more is looking at my childhood and wishing i could change it. Ive gone through so much...child abuse to watching my parents physically fighting...to being depressed for 7 years now....to being suicidal...Im so ******* pissed because my parents never taught me..and I never grew up.I have speech problems, im depressed, I cant talk properly, I cant carry a conversation, Im afraid of rejection, I have no skills what so ever, im extremely weak. This is suppose to be my 4th year in college and Im still a sophomore. I dont know what i want to do....Ive gotten to the point where i dont want to come outside of my room....its been a build up for 2 years. Ever since i failed at my university. I went from taking 15 to 12 to 9 and now only 6 hrs..I just dont care anymore, i cant handle the stress, i rather hide in my room and not face the world. I look at people how well they do in the real world...i get jealous...im a loser i cant make friends...i cant even talk to people. I have extremely bad insecurities about my look and weight. I get paranoid. At work i have to sell things...i just started im getting depressed because im not selling what i should be im afraid of rejection...and i dont want the customers to be mad at me. I look at this other guy who makes the customers laugh and tells jokes. Im an awkward loser...who cant do anything. I look at the employees there and other people they laugh joke, are friendly, can carry on a convo...I look at myself Im so disgusted. I dont want to work hard, i cant handle the stress...I honestly dont know what to do anymore...ive tried things reading the book the secret...its annoying..you try to act like nothing is wrong...I honestly have 0 skills...Im still depressed...even after 7 years. I dont know anymore...I cant stop thinking...im a nobody.
I wanna see a therapist...in fact i have...but to expensive and my community college doesn't offer this.
- ?Lv 69 years agoFavorite Answer
A previous answer follows, modified for you: One suggestion is to write a letter, expressing how it has affected your life, and what you would like to see happen about it now, then either post it, unaddressed, or have a ceremony, and burn it safely, in a metal container, and flush the ashes down the toilet, symbolically ending the matter. Consult a speech therapist. Adpot a high protein diet, with some amino acid supplements (AVOID STEROIDS!!!) and go to a gym, or pump iron at home. Hypnosis is merely a heightened state of suggestibility, in which communication with your subconscious mind is facilitated. 85% of people are suggestible, to some degree, so you could preferably seek professional hypnotherapy. If not an option, hypnosisdownloads has ones on overcoming a troubled childhood, overcoming insecurity, fear of rejection, being popular & escape emotional abuse, and/or asktheinternettherapist.com has one on re-parenting your inner child, and/or instant-hypnosis.com has one on dealing with child abuse. If the above proves insufficient, I suggest that you seek psychotherapy, and a course of EMDR therapy, (* http://your-mental-health.weebly.com/q.html - also see page 1 about self esteem & stress, then page M; depression; view pages 3, & B; see page P about dating; also pages 1 & E about social anxiety; study & exam tips; page P ) would probably reduce the negative emotions associated with your memories of abuse to more acceptable levels - the EMDR to reduce the negative, combined with the other techniques shown may be all you need, enabling you to avoid psychotherapy (open ended; can take years, cost a small fortune, and achieve little, depending on the therapist, and client). Try the relaxation methods at http://www.drcoxconsulting.com/managing-… or http://altmedicine.about.com/cs/mindbody…
or www.wikihow.com/Meditate and/or Tai Chi, Qi Gong, or yoga. Also page L at this site*, where there are several to choose from.
Some people are still dismissive of them, but scientific testing has demonstrated conclusively that they increase activity in the left prefrontal cortex, when practised regularly, and will enable you to find a way of being; awareness, without suffering, when you need it, and is a valuable tool for helping you through the worst parts of life. Give the acupressure EFT a good tryout, to see if it helps you. It is free via the searchbar at ** www.mercola.com "EFT" & "EFT therapists", or www.tapping.com (13 free videos) or, if still available, the free video for PTSD at www.emofree.com Professional EFT is always preferable. - There is a version for use in public places**, (you could claim to have a headache, as you employ the acupressure massage/tapping your temples, but you would then be restricted to subvocalising: saying it to yourself in your mind: "Even though I suffer the aftereffects of child abuse, I deeply and completely accept myself." ABUSE: See http://www.drdrew.com/ on abuse & http://www.burstingthebubble.com/ & http://www.reachout.com.au/home.asp At the end of therapy, discuss the importance of (sincere) forgiveness; to not do so is to hold onto the hurt, but you may not be ready for this step for some time. Read: "Feeling Good - the new mood therapy" by David D. Burns, M.D., & From Surviving to Thriving: A Therapist's Guide to Stage II Recovery for Survivors of Childhood Abuse by Mary Bratton,Source(s): & Healing the Scars of Emotional Abuse by Ann McMurray and Gregory Jantz, Ph.D., & Choosing Forgiveness: Your Journey to Freedom by Nancy Leigh DeMoss, & The Twelve Steps of Forgiveness by Paul Ferrini and Pia Mackenzie, & Forgiveness: How to Make Peace With Your Past and Get on With Your Life by Sidney B. Simon and Suzanne Simon, & "Forgive and Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don’t Deserve” by Lewis B. Smedes, & It's Never Too Late to Be Happy!: Reparenting Yourself for Happiness (The Best Half of Life) by Muriel James, from your bookstore, or amazon.com.There are also books on social skills; Social Skills Training for Children and Adolescents with Asperger Syndrome and Social-Communications Problems by Jed Baker, & "People Skills," written by Robert Bolton, Ph.D. The book help will help with communication in all areas. It helps when you have anxiety in "people" situations.
- 9 years ago
Well Hi Kamesh, hmm... it's seemingly has been a while since the day that you started to lose confdence, bit by bit.
But don't give up okay, life is a meant of a fight, it's good for you that you have known some of your problems, like having an overweight body, having less skilled than other people, and fearing that you will get turned down by other people. It's good because then you know where to start to fix it. Although right now you don't feel good, but as soon as you do some betterment you will make it better.
I'll suggest you some idea that comes to my mind. Hmm... haha I think reading manga will be more interesting, I'll lend you a manga that contains inspirational content.
Hope that it could help you!
Remember not to give up of yourself, everybody is very valuable, including yourself. So remember to stay strong and be courageous to face every obstacles in your life =).
this is the link, have a good reading =)
- Anonymous9 years ago
well, of course you're not going to solve the problem all by yourself. I was pretty much like you. I finally started seeing a therapist and just unburdened myself.
All of these thoughts and feeling you have, they're just poison.
But here's the thing. There is some kind of invisible barrier, IN YOU, that is preventing you from taking that step to see the therapist. In fact, if you observe yourself now, you will probably notice that you'll have thoughts that say "THAT'S never gonna work...that's for OTHER people. There has NEVER BEEN such a loser as me. No one can help me..." etc. etc. etc.
I'm not ordering you to fix yourself. I'm telling you that you can NOT do this alone.
So you know what you have to do.
- Fighter1987Lv 69 years ago
not going to read your pitty story b/c that's all that story you've written up is. Why are ar eyou a loser? According to who you are a loser? b/c someone told you you are a loser? because someone has put in your head who you should be and you don't think you fit that mold? Stop trying to fit into what you think other peoples opinions of how you should be. Be yourself! Be happy! **** anyone that gets in the way of of that. Be proud of who you are. Bet this sounds like something you haven't heard before? The only losers are those who allow themselves to be labled losers and the only ones that can label anyone is yourself. new concept?Source(s): my own life. there is no reason to let others dictate your hapiness. make your own destiny!
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- 4 years ago
I'd say it only figures that a JFK wanna be (John Kerry) would back a MLK wanna be (Obama) JFK= John F. Kennedy (obviously) MLK=Martin L. King And the sad, sad reality is Neither one of them will EVER be what those 2 men were.
- 9 years ago
hmm. U gotta toughen up, many people lived this way. I dont wanna get to much into my experience but if you are determined enough for a good life, you WILL get through college and fullfill your life. Otherwise, yeah, you will be a sore loser, depends what you do to prevent it to be become your life.