what should i do about my little sister (BBBS)?

i recently started volunteering with Big Brothers Big Sisters, and i was matched w/ a 9-year-old about 2 months ago.

first of all, i requested someone not from my community, b/c i was worried that if i had to report anything funky that i learned about, it could lead to repercussions at my job. i did not know, until i after i met her, that her mother is actually somewhat of a bigwig in my community. definitely in a position to do something if she were angry at me. however, the family situation is stable, there's not likely to be any of the things i was worried about (like drinking or drugs), so i decided to just deal with it.

after i got to know my "little" a little better, i learned that she applied for a "big" because her friend had one. she's not like most of the littles in the program, who have families dealing with a lot of issues she doesn't have to deal with. she is a good student, hangs around with a good crowd, and her family is loving and supportive (her father is an alcoholic, but lives far away, and he is involved in her life, mostly from a distance). i'm not saying this to badmouth all the littles who have issues...i'm just saying she's not your typical little. i'm fine with that, but i think she doesn't appreciate our relationship and she takes me for granted. she's very sweet and i'm not even sure if she's aware of what she's doing.

she and her mother are not very respectful of my time. on the day i was supposed to meet her, i was halfway there (i live 20 miles away) when i got a call saying they were 3 hours away. they didn't bother to tell anyone till i had driven halfway there. so we rescheduled for the next night. now none of the BBBS volunteers nor myself could understand the directions to my little's home, so the mother agreed to meet us at a place nearby. BBBS and i were on time, we waited, waited, waited some more, then finally called the mother. she finally did come after we called her, but i do believe she would have blown us off if we hadn't called. anyway, the mtg. went well, and my little and i made plans for the next get-together.

the first get-together, i called the morning of, to verify our plans. she was on her way out of town! and wasn't going to call me! anyway, we rescheduled for the next day (are you seeing a pattern yet?). and things went fine the next day.

the 2nd time, we decided to go see a movie. she likes to go on opening night, so we had a date for friday. friday when i called to verify, she said she wanted to go to a football game. that was fine, at least she let me know, and we rescheduled. besides, i was tired from work that day, and grateful for the break.

now...our 3rd get-together was going to be last weekend. we were going to hang out at her place, watch a movie, and play games. i got the movie we had discussed from netflix. i texted her early in the week (her mother told me she likes to text, and besides, she has trouble checking her voicemail, which i almost always get, so i figured texting was my best bet). i asked which day did she want to hang out. she said she didn't know. i texted back "let me know." she said OK. 3 days later, i hadn't heard anything, so i texted her again and said let me know by friday. she never replied. maybe this was wrong of me, but i left the ball in her court. maybe i should have tried to call, but i just figured she didn't want to get together, and i didn't want to be a pest. the weekend passed without a word from her, and on monday i called BBBS and told them i wasn't sure she really wanted a big sister. they were very understanding and offered to call and see if they could smooth things over.

the next morning i got a text from my little. she said i could call her before 7:30 a.m., but i got the text too late, so i texted back that i would call her after work, which i did. i got voicemail and asked her to call me back. and that's the last contact- that was 2 days ago.

BBBS apparently did speak to her about my concerns. i don't know the details of the conversation with BBBS but she apparently agreed to text me.

so...i've about had it. i'm debating "breaking up" with a 9-year-old, and every time i get ready to call BBBS about it, i think...she's just a kid, this is learned behavior from her mother, and part of my responsibilityis to be a positive influence, maybe teach her something about manners. i have no reason to believe her mother is a mean person, but she is in a position to make my life difficult if she wanted to. seriously tho, that's the least of my worries. i want to do the right thing, but how much longer am i supposed to let the two of them be disrespectful of my time and energy?

sorry this is so long, but i kind of felt i needed to lay out all the details. what do you think i should do? i will


do whatever the majority (excepting the trolls)of you suggest.

exciting things are expensive, and so far i've ended up paying for everything, which i don't mind, but BBBS told me not to do that. and the movie/game day was her idea, b/c it's what her friend does with her big.

2 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I think that I would opt out.

    Source(s): Me
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You could try just chilling out... Shes only nine. All kids are like that. I baby sit quite a lot for kids in unstable homes. Its basically for their parents to get a break and a lot of these kids have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder adhd. I take them out and plan really exciting things that they couldnt possibly want to miss out on. You have to be more exciting for this kid... You sound pretty boring... Games. Movie. Snore! Even if its her suggestion these things she probably couldnt think of anything else. Usually with my kids i text them and if they dont text back i leave it for a few hours then ring just in case they dont have money on their phone. After that i wait a day and ring again and thats it. Ill probably wait a few days before ringing.

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