XIII
Lv 5
XIII asked in HealthMental Health · 1 decade ago

I need to leave home. Can you help me?

First of all, do NOT tell me to continue living at home and save my money. I HATE when people say that to me. Please read everything before answering. I'm extremely depressed and anxious living in this environment. I suffer from social anxiety disorder, and yes, I have made attempts at getting over it, but nothing is working. Not counseling, medication, staying out of my house, talking to people, nothing. Whenever I go back home, it just goes back to the way it used to be. I only have about $6,000 in the bank, mostly from money I get to go to school. I can't tell you the whole story between me and my parents, but we hate each other. I can't live here anymore because my anger with them has shot through the roof. Yes, I've talked to them calmly about how I feel about the past. They don't care. They just tell me to get over it. They will never listen to me. My past here has caused me considerable anxiety. I can't even get a job due to it.

I'm 19 and I go to school full time. I'm extremely miserable. Nothing makes me happy. I can't make friends, go out anywhere, buy anything, have fun. I'm just totally miserable and alone. It just makes me nervous because of rent and stuff. People suggest a roommate, but I don't think I'm comfortable enough to handle one, at least for the time being. I've asked this question several times, but the only advice I'm getting is stay at home and be miserable. It's very complicated on my end and nobody is helping me. I might as well just commit suicide.

Is there any hope for me?

Update:

I don't want to tell the whole story between my family and me. All you need to know is that it has caused so many problems with my mental health. My two older sisters suffer as well, and no, I am not at all close to them.

Update 2:

Of course living on my own has stress. I understand that. I'm just stuck in a really bad cycle because I suffer from severe anxiety, which prevents me from getting a job, which prevents me from making and saving money, which prevents me from adding to my own money, which prevents me from moving out, and I can't truly move on from my past and anxiety until I leave. I don't know what to do about this.

7 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    if you're a full time student why not try student housing? you don't necessarily have to have a roommate in most places. that was how i escaped! filled out my fafsa, got into a dorm, saved up some money and by the end of my first year of college i had enough to find ways of staying away from my parents house. as another answerer said, it isn't always pretty, and suffering with anxiety and depression doesn't help, but any little thing that can be done should in order to give you the time and space to work out your problems. it will not cure it, but it might make it better.

  • 1 decade ago

    I'm sorry you are going through this but the #1 thing I can say is suicide is not the answer and ending your life at 19 would be a VERY bad decision. You'd be turning the lights off permanently with no way of turning them back on.

    If staying at home isn't working for you; you can rent a single and maybe get a part time job once you're out. $6,000 isn't that much money when you are living on your own. It is enough however to get you out of an unhealthy situation for the time being.

    Honestly, about 5 years ago I had a shaky relationship with my mom. I too won't go into details.

    I moved out with a friend for a couple weeks and shortly after that my bf moved in with me. We're married now and my relationship with my mom is great.

    The point of my story is that it'll most likely work out if you move out. You just have to get used to sleeping in a house or apartment alone and paying your own rent and bills on time. Getting a job doing anything would be great also. You said you go to school full time (good job!) getting a part time job should help you out...financially and socially. Sometimes we make friends or at least acquaintances at work that sometimes end in friendships. (not always though so if you don't it won't be your fault...it's just the way the cookie crumbles)

    No matter what....things will get better as you get older. You learn from previous experiences. Sometimes they are positive sometimes not so much. Regardless, you will grow and become a successful citizen.

    Love yourself...value yourself and have faith in yourself. It's your life and as an adult you have the ability to change life around.

  • 1 decade ago

    I think the first step is to accept that you do have an anxiety problem. The next step is to learn how to function effectively, despite the problem.

    A lot of anxiety is caused by what we say to ourselves. For example, by constantly thinking "what if", we generate much anxiety.

    To combat anxiety, we have to be willing to feel uncomfortable. Just that willingness is a huge step forward.

    You can start telling yourself:

    I can tolerate discomfort.

    I can do it no matter how I feel

    As long as I breathe, I am safe

    so what if_________ happens. I can handle it

    I can accept whatever happens.

  • 1 decade ago

    you do need to get out of there if u think the only way out is suicide!if ur a student why cant u find a place on campus which would also b convienient.it sounds like ur managing ur finances if u have $6000.thats more than enuf to get you settled on campus and u mite even qualify for additional grants or loans to help if u need it!if u dont do something on ur own soon, ur gonna find urself in a routine and start to think that its not as bad as it seems only because ur scared u mite not be able to pay rent! I think ud b able to b normal if ur not around negative vibes or people holding u back from being who u really are!GET AWAY FROM THERE!

    Source(s): opinion
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  • 1 decade ago

    Speak you your counsellor and ask what she suggests, their may be a fund available to help you move into your own place she may try to talk you out of it but if you can calmly explain why you need your own place she may be able to find a way to help

    BUT

    be aware that living on your own has it's own stress as well

  • 1 decade ago

    YES. If you have the money, make a budget and leave. However,You will need a job quickly.

    Good Luck!

  • Slug
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    find your feet first take a job and then leave as you have back up money if you go now you will have no where to go once the money is blown

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