I keep having really weird thoughts?

hi, i do suffer from anxiety, i took an accidental overdose on paroxotein about a year ago which is a depressant (it was my mums) and that how my anxiety started, i have sniffed deodorant and nail varnish remover once and used to smoke cannabis i don't anymore, i also got emotionally abused and sexually abused... show more hi, i do suffer from anxiety, i took an accidental overdose on paroxotein about a year ago which is a depressant (it was my mums) and that how my anxiety started, i have sniffed deodorant and nail varnish remover once and used to smoke cannabis i don't anymore, i also got emotionally abused and sexually abused as a child, since all of that i now get very irritated and angry for no apparent reason and i get angry very easily, i also suffer from paranoia sometimes extreme, sometimes mild and sometimes not at all, i have got in trouble with the police a few times, for theft and bullying and cyber stalking but i got away with it somehow, im very good at lying when i want too, i love my family to bits and i would never do anything to hurt them, but other people i couldn't give a **** about, i don't feel any remorse at all for anything bad that i do and recently ive been getting weird thoughts about killing people, like poisoning peoples drinks or food (i never act on this) i also used to have friends but i stole from one of them and i haven't spoken to them since and im not really bothered about it, one more thing, i used to go out with my friends and drink 2 litres of cider but don't anymore, is there something wrong with me? honest and serious answers please
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