Please Parents and Teens Help!!!! Relationship, Religion, and Girl Problems:( I am a 15 year old boy :(?
Warning be prepared for a big story: Please Read though :(
Well Me and My ex girlfriend Bella were going out for 11 months and her mom had restriction on us hanging out! We got once a week and when we hung out at her house we basically had to act like we were only friends...... Well I decided to write her mom(her moms name is Dana) a letter asking if there was anything that I did that restricted me and Bella to only hanging out once a week......I have always been a gentlemen around her mom. I dont abuse Bella. Im friendly and I have a 4.0..... Thats talking high of myself but im trying to get a point.... sorry.... WEll her mom wanted to talk to me about it and I agreed. We were planning to talk after school on a Friday.Before I went over to Bellas house to talk to her mom she made me promise her that whatever happens that we will still work it out. So I go over there her mom basically tells me that me and Bella will never work out because I am not mormon I am christian and how her daughter wants to get married in a temple... WE'RE freaking 15!!! and her mom is worrying about that!!!!!!!! She also says that all relationships lead to sex because she lost her v-card at age 15 too. Me and Bella never had sex but we did touch a couple times. Well she basically broke us up that Friday and said that if we really loved each other we could let each other go...... Which I think is BS...... well anyways... Me and Jade kept her promise she made me promise too. Her mom blocked my number so it was hard.... but over that weekend we still managed to keep in contact. Then monday.. she broke up with me because she needed time to think and other stuff. I was way depressed and it was way hard... So then on tuesday I asked her to skip fourth period with me so we could talk... She agreed we got in more fights.. I found out she kissed her ex the day she broke up with me cause she was lonely. WEll she had to go home so we decided I would sneak over that night. I was going to go over their and bring her all her stuff and notes she gave me. Right before I was about to leave she called me up crying saying that she wants to get back cause she cant live without me. I agreed. I rode my bike over there on Tuesday night. 8 Mile round trip. I stayed there till one in the morning on a school night. We worked everything out. She apologized and she was letting her mom make her personal choices. So the next day Wed. is good. And thursday is good up till I leave school. She calls me up and is crying and says she is breaking up to me cause If i really cared about her I wouldnt make her go behind her moms back to go out with her. Thats the exact opposite of what she told me when I snuck over. Her mom was brainwashing her in a way. Well I tried talking to her mom still didnt go well. Bella said she never wants to talk to me or see me again. That hurt to hear. The only person I love and she loved me I know it and I know she would regret it someday and that she didnt mean it..... WEll I didnt talk to her at all for almost a month then she emailed me and wanted to talk in person I agreed and said okay. We talkd it was weird. Then she wanted to talk again. We did which was last friday. She started crying and said how doesnt know how to say sorry in any other way but she is. And how she doesnt have any friends. And how her mom is being so mean and making jokes about us breaking up. The bell rang then we agreed we would talk after school. After school we talked for 2 and a half hours. She wants to get back with me. This is the way I see it. She thought the grass was greener on the other side and found out it wasnt. I still do love her. it sounds lame but I do after everything. She kissed me too. And said how she wants to sit down and talk to my family cause they dont really like her at the moment. idk... she has been calling me at night and stuff. I really dont know if I should get back with her. I think everyday what would happen if we did and her mom makes us break up. Would Bella stand up to her mom. Try to put yourself in my shoes now that you know the whole story and give me ideas on what you think. I would really apprecciate it. Specially parents who answer :(
- 9 years agoFavorite Answer
1st...Stop skipping class. 2nd...you are too young to be in a serious relationship. Give yourself time to grow up. 3rd....you shouldnt be sneaking around to be with a gf...thats how people get into trouble.
now that that is out of the way.....Its normal for mothers to be over protective of their kids. All parents think there isnt anyone good enough for their kids.....at first. In the mormon religion it is normal for the mothers to think marriage as soon as the relationship starts. its crazy....but its true. A mormons biggest goal in life is to get married in the temple and have a family. She is worried about you being a non-member because you will take that chance away from her daughter. Not saying its right....just what she is thinking. The longer your together the more it will hurt when you break up. Her mom could also be concerned about you guys doing what she did, so she doesnt want you two to get serious. As for "If you really love each other you will let each other go" That was used on me when i was dating a non-mormon. Its just something people use to say "your not good enough...go away" Her mom is manipulating her, but she thinks she is doing it to help bella. I dont know if Bella will stand up to her mom. It takes a lot to do that.
here is a little part of my story.
I was raised in the mormon church. I dated a few mormon boys and my mom was really excited about it each time i went out. One day she found out I was dating a non-mormon. She started doing the same things you are describing. She started finding every little fault in him. She criticized him whenever she got the chance. When she didnt have anything to complain about (he is a really good person so she didnt have many things to start with) she started making up accusations. The more serious we got the more she said. It went from "he's to old for you" to "he doesnt exist" (she had my cop uncle run a background test on him, he came up too clean, but since he wasnt mormon she claimed it was a false name he used to get to me.) and even "he is a sexual predator" Despite that I continued to date him. My mother and I fought every day for a year. He proposed to me and everything got crazy. She tried to guilt me into breaking up with him. She tried to make us fight. but nothing worked. the only thing she did was pushed me away. I moved across the country with him and we got married in a court house. I didnt want to have a wedding because I knew it would turn into a huge fight. I have been married for 6 years and have a 5 year old girl. Even to this day my mom says horrible things about my husband. he abuses me, he cheats on me, he controls me, he is brainwashing me, him and his mother have a sexual relationship (GROSS!!!!). All sorts of things. It never stopped, and I realize it never will. As long as I am with him my mom will try to get us apart. Its a hard life to live. I never see my family because every time i go for a visit i get bombarded with "leave him and come back home" My family and husband hate each other. Its impossible to ignore all the stupidity. It causes me to fight with my husband. We slowly drift apart for times, then realize what is happening and we fix it. If we both werent 100% in love we would have divorced long ago.
Now that you know what will probably happen with the two of you, you can decide if you want it. You can understand that her family will never totally approve of you. You will be the monster that takes their girl away. Do you love her enough for a life long fight? Does she love you enough? If its just a high school romance you probably wont make it. But if it is true, unconditional love you have a chance. Share my story with her and see what she thinks. she will probably deny her mother could do anything like it, I thought the same thing. It is a possibility you both have to consider.
My advice is to have fun, with and without each other. dont get into such a messy situation right now. Give yourself a few years to grow up before you decide what you want. If you love each other you can date....but for now i say just enjoy being a teenager.
Hopefully this helps. I wish the best for both of you.
- 9 years ago
I'm a christian as well, but my ex was Lutheran. his parents hated me, called me a distraction, and couldn't stand that i dyed my hair weird colours and had a lip ring. but we stuck through it for 3 1/2 years. The thing is though, if there's that much drama just in a beginning of a relationship, it's only going to get harder, especially if she can't make up her mind whether or not she truly wants to be with you. You both have to want to bear the difficulties and consequences of being in a relationship. It's not easy.
best of luck.Source(s): I'm 18 and have had similar issues with my currant bf and ex.
- 9 years ago
It sounds like an awful lot of drama at such a young age. Speaking from someone who is Mormon, they have lot of standards and rules. It all sounds like a lot. I would just let her go. You will find someone else.
- Six T 9 loverLv 79 years ago
Question to long so will wait for the movie to come out so I can understand it better.