How can I strengthen my Christian faith against atheism?
As a person, I admire logic and reasoning above all else; by this, I mean, I am a person who chose to study mathematics because it is the only science where absolute proof is not only expected but demanded. Advanced mathematical study requires any conclusion to be supported by logical proof derived from the most basic assumptions.
This rational part of me is forcing me into a constant mental struggle to maintain my faith. I want to be a better Christian but the part of me that demands reasoning is holding me back. I have always simply ignored any arguments people try to goad me into regarding Christ and ignore any reasoning I can't understand with trying to remember that belief without proof is the definition of faith.
But if God judges the heart, then my failure to be the stronger Christian I know could be is a constant sin I commit that I fear cannot be absolved. Moreover, I guess I was just wondering how do other people deal with this?
In an effort to prove to any would be critics that might insinuate I am not serious, I have provided some personal thoughts accumulated over countless hours I have exhausted my brain trying to reconcile my faith with reason.
I see it hypocritical for someone to claim they are atheists because they are somehow smarter than I am when their only argument is an argument from ignorance (argumentum ad ignorantiam) in the form of "God doesn't exist because there is no proof." Absence of proof is not the proof of absence. I am well aware that this also applies to corollary;
Instead, I believe that proof of God's existence is not possible. Belief in the absence of proof is the foundation of faith; I believe in Him and that it is right to give Him thanks and praise.
I am a firm believer that God created Earth but I also cannot deny the fact that is evolution. Evolution is as much of a certainty to me as my existence in God. Modern Christian extremists to that would deny something as definite as evolution alienate more than they welcome and I was always taught that a core principle of Christianity is evangelism. I believe that evangelism was embodied best by Jesus Christ; His followers chose to follow Him and He always led by example. What else but hubris could make anyone think they know a better way than the Lord to convert people? The big bang theory shows that existence could have happen without God, but to any theory, post hoc ergo propter hoc will always apply.
Furthermore, I feel like questioning your faith is necessary as it proves that you exercised free will and chose to accept your place in His kingdom. There is no free will without choice; by definition.
I tend toward Martin Luther's idea that man cannot truly claim to love God because God offers man the gift of eternal life. It is impossible to know if you love God or simply fear His absence (Hell). So man will never truly be able to live up to His grace. Salvation was and is only possible because of Christ's sacrifice for us.
Anyway, this length is approaching epic proportions which may deter many people from reading it but I can only hope will also serve as a deterrent for any would be responses that might not have taken my question as serious as I do.