香蘋果 asked in 社會與文化語言 · 1 decade ago

英文文章是否有誤?

College students need part-time job?

People have different perspectives in Taiwan.

Some people think college students are too young to control their feelings. When they made mistakes, they couldn’t sustain the boss’s severe comments and then quit the job easily. They don’t even make a self examination and always blame for mistakes or somebody. Others can’t afford their tuition because their parents who might have not any job or extra expense to supply children education. So they may decide to find a job to earn their tuition. Others have ambition to strive for the best. They desire to learn much experience in order to close their goals and find a good job which has a higher salary and more vacations. However, the others just want to make money to pursue the latest style of fashion. They may waste much time to work and always go to school in low spirits. The worst thing results in degenerating their grades or flunking the class. So I think I will not enter the field quickly, now the only thing I can do is studying English well.

請英文好的人幫忙看看...

希望可以給我些意見

還有主題句怎麼寫最好?

怎樣可以在有效時間內增加篇長

朋友都說我想得太多了...

覺得寫文章好難...但日記就可以寫很多"

怎樣才能變強呢??

1 Answer

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    College students need part-timejob?Is part-time job vital to college student’s life?

    People Taiwan students have different perspectives and situations in Taiwan, some people think some (some….(the)others, one ….(the) others ,對照於後面綠色字之others,此處應加some)college students are too young to control their feelings moods(感覺通常是外物給予的,非由自己控制,情緒才是可控制的), when they made make mistakes, they couldn’t can’t sustain the bosses’ severe comments and then quit the their jobs easily, they don’t even make a any self examination and always blame for mistakes or somebody other persons, Others some can’t afford their tuition because their parents who might have not any jobs or being burdened with extra expenses to supply their children education fees. So they the students(此處改明寫出”學生”,以免被誤為父母) may decide to find a job to earn their tuition. Others have ambitions to strive for the best not only the education fees, they desire to learn obtain much many experiences in order to close reach their goals and find a so called good jobs which have a higher salaries and more vacations. However, the others some other students just want to make money to pursue the latest newest styles of fashion, they may waste much time to work and always go to school in low spirits. The worst thing will be resulted in is degenerating their grades or flunked in the class examinations. So I think I will not enter the field be involved in it so quickly, now presently, the only most important thing I can will do is studying English well. (後可再加說明,為何現階段讀好英文是最重要的,讀好了,又可如何?) (把文章寫得長,是很好,但必須言之有物,如要說得都已說完,無內容可再寫的情況下,寧可停止,不添加無意義的內容文字)(閱讀大量英文文章如英文報之短篇報導為增加寫作能力方法之一)

    2010-10-29 14:15:36 補充:

    在第二行括符說明裡提到"綠色字",因再修正時已改為"紅色粗體"。

    而全文有 some .......some ........others的寫法 ,後面文字However, some other students just want to make money ,又出現some other ,建議改為 However, (a group of )students just want to make money.........., 以免讓前面some ........others 的句型,出現不妥適處。

    2010-10-29 16:36:59 補充:

    上句再修正為However, (there are) a group of students just want to make money..........,

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