My ex and i share 50/50 custody of our two year old son she hasn't been letting me see him past 3 weeks...?
My ex and i share 50/50 of our two year old son its court ordered and i pay my child support on time and have never missed a payment. Well my ex has been refusing to let me see my son the past 3 weeks and i don't want to cause problems or anything but i have a right to see my fuq'ing son he is all i have and i love him to death. But i don't want to fight in front of him and its so irritating and i don't know what to do my girlfriend told me to stop stressing and take her to court since she isn't following the court order but i don't understand why she won't let me see my son to begin with. What should i do? How can i go about this without fighting? Advice?
- 9 years agoFavorite Answer
File a motion of contempt. Make sure you have people that know the circumstances and can vouch that she will not allow you to see your son. Have people listen to phone conversations, you leaving messages to talk to her about the situation. Having to deal with court will probably make her straighten up. I know my boyfriends ex did, she used to do crap like that before he got the court order for 50/50 custody and wanted to dicatate their relationship. Let the courts handle it, anything you do outside of that will probably make you look bad, like arguing, yelling, etc.
- IrusanLv 59 years ago
Though we rarely hear about it, this is not an uncommon occurrence, and what you are facing is an attack on several levels. First, your ex is trying to hurt you by keeping your son from you. It's that simple. Second, you have to consider that she, by separating you and your son, might be in the beginning stages of making him hate you—to continue hurting you in the future and to also hurt his possible relationship with your girlfriend—by saying, "See? Daddy doesn't love you or he'd come to see you." And, of course, your son is much too young to notice that his mother is selfishly and jealously sabotaging his entire life—as he grows he'll think she's right because he never sees you.
So if you are definitely carrying out your half of the commitment to your son's care as required by the law, take your ex back to court. Do that as many times as you must—if you are interested in your child then you have a right to share everything in his life, and he needs the influence of a responsible male role model. Your ex is banking on you either forgetting about your son or not bothering with the expense of more court time just to see him, and if you don't act this will only continue.
- ConnorLv 69 years ago
Sounds like your ex is trying to see if she flex her maternal muscles in your face. You need to contact a lawyer immediately. I guarantee if you missed a child support payment she would have the courts all over you in a heartbeat. Don't be afraid to fight for your son.
- 9 years ago
How recently did you get with this girlfriend of yours?? That's where I would start..
Also, your 2 y.o. is at a pivotal age.. and doesn't quite understand the world.. He knows that his mommy loves him and takes care of him..
Does your girlfriend do the same (she should.. anyone you get together with should love your child as her own.. ) The problem is that at his age.. has he called your gf "mommy"..
His mom/ your ex.. will get extremely upset by this sort of thing.. there is no way around it.. just through it.. Make it clear to him in nice soft words who his mommy is.. and if the gf is close enough, he could have a pet name for her.. but nothing close to mommy..
As far as the legal part of it, I don't know about your state, but in many.. If you call the police and say that she has broken the order.. They could arrest her.. Now, they most likely won't, but will insist that she follow the order.
You probably don't want to go that route, but just tell her that she is breaking a legal document, and that is considered contempt and she could go to jail for such a thing (though I wouldn't make it harsh because if you piss her off.. she'll come back and slap you in the face with it.. like if you are 5 minutes late bringing him back..)
Really, the best thing to do is to be nice.. Talk to her kindly.. Don't get frustrated or upset with her.. I know you will probably feel that way, but don't let it show.. Bite your tongue..
Explain to her that you want to work things out..
You don't have to be best friends, but you should be able to get along for your son's sake.. After all, you will have to put up with each other for the rest of his natural life.. and if you both out live him.. then longer..
Why do I say this.. a lot of people will say until he turns of age..
Well.. You will have to see her at his graduation from high school, his graduation from college, or the military or what have you, you will see her when he gets married, and how many other events over the course of his life..
You better start getting along now.. It will make things soooooo much easier..
Good luck.. and if it's hard to keep your cool.. Force yourself to smile.. It's actually fairly hard to be mean, when you are smiling..
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- Anonymous9 years ago
You can file a motion to enforce. Child Support enforcement has a program to help. These links will teach you how.
Federal Child Support Enforcement Handbook for Non-Custodial Parents
To learn a father's rights, join Dads House in Yahoo Groups. It's free to join, access all materials, and you associate with other fathers going through, and have already gone through, the same issues. We have an Educational Manual that teaches everything that needs to be known in addressing your legal issues. Mention your question here when asked why you want to join, as well as your state?
- 9 years ago
Go to court its the only way to make it better. She doesnt have the right to stop you now that you have the court order. she is trying to use your son a weapon to hurt you.
- Anonymous9 years ago
Are you sure there's no injuries to the son? Maybe she's trying to cover up something or is jealous of your relationship. I'd take her to court immediately!
- RoseLv 79 years ago
Take her to court for contempt of custody.