Oddly accurate 4chan bible summary...your thoughts?
Then later, God gets uber pissed about Pharaoh Hitler pwning the jews, so he gives Moses some cheat codes for the universe. Moses stages a mass slave runaway and opens up the sea so the Jews can run through, closing it behind him and drowning the ancient Nazis. God Lol'd.
Some other less important sh*t happens, mostly composed of a bunch of f*ggots writing emo poetry about god for him to fap to.
New Testament: God finds Mary sleeping and just sticks the tip in and drops his load. Nine months later Jesus is born. For his 13th birthday God gave Jesus more cheat codes than he gave Moses, plus the rcon password for life, and some CP.
Later, Jesus became a hard core ska punk and trolled the old school jews hard. They got super pissed and permabanned him with a cross and some nine inch nails. They forgot he had god mode turned on though, so he waited 3 days and hit vid_restart on the rcon panel, came back into life's server, and laughed at the Jews.
After that, 3 more guys tell the same story, then this f*ggot Paul wrote an assload of sh*t about sex being evil and a bunch of other stuff that Jesus never f*cking said but everybody listened to Paul anyways because they're stupid.
Oh, I'm sorry. Are you illiterate? Were you unable to read the part where I said it was from 4chan?