Have any Keystone crooks to add to the funny "Great Paintsville Bank Robberies"?
Robbery #12- A big man in a pinstriped baseball uniform robbed the bank. He told a pretty lady teller to pull his finger. When she did, he broke wind so loudly that some water was knocked out of the sink in the restroom. He said, "I'll give $1000 from the loot to anyone that can match that loud note!"
Robbery #37- A masked man in a suit strode pompously into the bank and announced loudly, "I must have $8,000,000 right now, or the Lord is going to call me home!"
#38- A 6'-2", 205 pound man with a beard and wearing a robe led a gang in robes too that robbed the bank. When cops arrested them, he boomed loudly, "Let my people go!"
#42- A big masked man drew a gun, and a lady teller screamed, "Mon Dieu!" (My God!) The robber said, "Don't bug me, Stella!" Another teller said, "She is Merielle from France, not Stella!" He held out his hand to Merielle and said, "Madamoiselle, tirez le doigt!" (Miss, pull the finger!) When she did that, everyone heard "un tres fort pet" ( a very loud fart).
#43- Two masked ladies robbed the bank. The auburn-haired one said, "I want some travelling money to go to Chicago that is one of our 52 states!" The blonde said, "I want to go the places overseas, like Canada!" A teller said, "Your voice sounds fmiliar. aren't you a popular singer?" The blonde said, "Yes, I am! I do my thing when I'm on stage, and afterward, I trip, burp and fart just like everyone else!"
#124- A sleepy-eyed guy who was on drugs robbed the bank. He was naked with ketchup smeared all over his body. When someone asked about that, he explained, "I'm going to a masquerade party as a hot dog!"
#85- Two men robbed the bank July 7, 2002. The older one bowed his head and said, "Let's pay our respects to our fine boys who died exactly 61 years ago today when Pearl Harbor was bombed!" Many people laughed when they heard that, so the younger robber said, "Oh, Dad knows Pearl Harbor Day is really September 7!" He was puzzled when everyone laughed even harder at his apology.