Should I tell my family I'm not a Christian?

I recently turned 15 and have been going through a few things with my family. The most affecting thing being my mom was diagnosed with cancer a couple of months ago. Well, she had what was the most dire surgery about 6 weeks ago. She's going into another one that's minor in November and is expected to recover soon after that. Anyway, she's an extremely devoted Christian along with my family. It comes up what seems like everyday, whether it's just a 'God is great' type comment, it's mentioned in some form. Though I wouldn't classify my mom as this extreme, judgmental Christian as she's accepting of things like people of different orientations, I know that she wouldn't be happy or understand if I told her I'm not a Christian. My dad on the other hand isn't someone I see regularly and when I do religion's never discussed so that's not an issue. My family on the other hand is pretty much the same as my mom. Even a couple of days ago my aunt took me to a Beth Moore sermon (she's apparently seen as this empowering Christian speaker). I think the reason for this is I had talked to my cousin, her daughter, a few days before that and when religion was mentioned, I said that was 'more of my mom's thing'. So I guess that was her way of trying to get me more into Christianity. It's not that I'm completely against Christianity, I just don't want to be a part of it; I'm tired of having to agree with what they believe. But my mom's been stressed lately and seeing her go through that has stressed me out too and I don't want to disappoint her with this, worrying her even more. Then again, I'm not sure how many more sermons I can attend and act like I'm happy about it. Should I put up with Christianity for the time being or tell them?

10 Answers

  • 9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    I don't answer many of these like this. I hope this helps, and maybe allows you to say at least judge if you ought to..............

    Lots of us dump religion way before you .....for myself, I dumped it at age 11, when my mom confessed that there was not Santa, "Keeping a list and checking it twice.................." She as well confessed no one else was either.

    So, my mom was far ahead of yours.

    What you have to determine is just how hammered with more of this stuff you are going to have to endure if you tell them you think in is a pile of crap.

    You write well, so you're no dummy. And obviously, you're in biology, and the evidence for science and evolution is just overwhelming, and not one shred of scientific evidence agaist it. Not one..

    You have three more years before you are off to college. That sounds like forever... and at 15, it truly is forever.

    When I was your age, I did indeed read the bible had had some, "if Jesus was really a miracle worker, and the son of God, how come he was illiterate? The bible says he 'scratched in the sand".

    I'd have thought the Son of God would at least be able to read.

    Then there were the miracles.... if he really could do those, why did he just damn a fig tree, and put demons in about a REAL curing your mom (or mine ) of cancer, or fixing the legs of a kid who had fallen off of a roof on one of his afternoons? Pigs? Fig trees? Were they serious????

    Then the torcher for me was that he was the Messiah. (But like, what did I even need saving for? Sin? Those are ideas churches use to control people. There aren't any sins... there are stupid things, illegal things, and immoral things, and things that will have your friends leave you, but sins???? That's churchy stuff.)

    Other stuff bothered me too:

    The Messiah had to trace his bloodline to the House of David, and this was done thru Joseph. But Joseph wasn't his daddy, god was, and no one traced Mary's bloodline!!!!!!!! (Big ooops)

    One claims heritage thru ancestory, not marriage. BANG!!!!!

    This for me was the fatal flaw in Christianity.

    It made it all just nuts.

    Then I got into biology in hs, and evolution just made wayyyy more sense than some sky daddy popping people on the planet, killing your own son, talking snakes, and floating dead guys.

    I pretty much decided if that stuff doesn't happen now, it pretty much couldn't happen then, either.

    Then, as an undergrad, I took some grad courses in Religious Studies in New Testament. The final clincher?

    If god is all merciful, all powerful, then why is there so much suffering in the world?

    And no one ever came up with anything that ever made any sense to me... not at age 11, not at 15, not at 35.

    (Comments like, "God works in mysterious ways....." was just crap. "You will get your reward after you are in heaven...." Yeah, sure.

    And the fundamentalist sites on the internet, and the creationist sites too, are just contrary to reason, and contrary to anything I ever see on Nova, The Discovery Chanel, Nat Geo, The Science Channel, and any other peer reviewed real science.

    I think with a little ammunition, you might just suggest you'd prefer to spend your time doing something other than getting preached at. "I'm 15. I know that's young, but I'm not stupid, and I know what makes sense to me. I'd rather volunteer at the homeless shelter, than be in church.... then get someone to take yo there and serve food---what ever. But yes, fully understand the wish to get out of that church and doing something useful.....

    Source(s): Science teacher 26 years. Grad courses in Religious Studies, Univ of Chicago's Divinity School
  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    I think you should talk to your mom - straight. She is going through a tough time right now. You can probably come up with a compromise if she is as reasonable as you say she is.

    If you and she can come to an understanding, then just keep it private for now out of respect for her. When her health is better, you can re-visit this.

    If you try to make too forceful a point now, people may think it is just your mother's illness that makes you feel this way, and they may try even harder to convince you which is just what you don't want.

    Sorry you are going through such a tough time. Be good to your mom - it will mean everything to her.

  • 9 years ago

    Totally understand what you're going through. My mom has beaten breast cancer but was going through some emotional issues when I "deconverted" (about 6 months ago) and thought about telling her. I didn't because, I thought that would have been too much for her to handle. If you think it would be too much for your mom to handle, you may want to stick it out a little bit longer. I still haven't told my family and they are über religious, I do need to do this though, but it is hard.

    Good luck :-)

  • 9 years ago

    Well, you might not want to initiate the topic with your mother, since she's in a rough place right now and she doesn't need added stress. However, if any of your other relatives ever try to get you to go to church or to some other religious function, just politely tell them you're not interested in going.

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  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    You need to have a guidance to live on this earth. Unless you wish to seek for another better one. But to leave without any is the danger you left yourself unattended. The world outside make look peaceful in reality. It is just the placebo effect of making you feel hospitable. For a girl to be alone unguarded out on your own without a proper savior is a risk you take to mess around with reality.

    Happy with a joy will always subside to a loneliness. The taste of everything will soon end with nothing.

  • Andrew
    Lv 6
    9 years ago

    I'm an atheist who comes from a very religious family. I haven't told them yet, but I know I probably should. It's hard, so I do understand.

  • fred
    Lv 4
    9 years ago

    If you have not CHOSEN to follow Christ, you are not a Christian. Jesus only wants those who will give it all up for him. You should talk to your family and tell them you are not ready yet. God will wait unless tomorrow never comes. Do it with respect and love for your family and everything will be fine.

  • Moi
    Lv 7
    9 years ago

    What good thing could come of this? Sit down and write up a list of all the advantages. Is there even one?

    This says it all:

    "I know that she wouldn't be happy or understand if I told her I'm not a Christian."

    So why put her through it?


  • 9 years ago

    You don't need to.

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    you don't know as much as you think you do. Give it time

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