As a child, I was not encouraged to do any activities beyond schoolwork and church. No, don't try for the school play. Remember that one time when you embarrassed me?(I was 5 then, made a minor error). No don't join choir, you'll be gone from home too much. (I joined anyway. Was Mom ever mad!) No, don't join the Christmas Cantata. You don't have time to waste, and the rehearsals are after dark. You can't walk home in the dark.
I was told I wasn't pretty enough to do this, not smart enough to do that. Too shy for this other thing. Told to leave these things to the smarter girls, the prettier girls, the outgoing and more capable girls. In defense of Mom, I know she was sincerely trying to keep me safe. I was the baby of the family.
Then I married a guy who encouraged me to do things. Yes, join the PTA. Run for office. Yes, join the serviceman's wives club. You ARE smart, you are pretty, you are capable. So, then I had my husband saying go for it, as well as my mother still telling me I shouldn't do things. You can't be secretary for the PTA, you'd mess up the reports, you can't be historian for the service wives. Other women could do a better job. You'd get hurt, you'd embarrass me. etc, etc.
Eventually, I began to believe my husband. I am smart, I was pretty. I was capable of doing a good job. Yep. I can, and do accomplish things.
However, I still have to give myself a lot of pep talks. I wake up thinking I can't, I can't. Have to insist yes, I can. I really can. It's an inner battle, depending on whether I am hearing Mother's voice, or my husband's.