ADHD: is it god's idea of a cruel joke?

I have known that something was abnormal about me for a long time. I always was so out of touch with other people and society in general. a few years ago I was diagnosed with ADHD according to a psychiatrist. Recently I have also undergone genetic testing for the DRD4 repeat gene and was also positive. In the... show more I have known that something was abnormal about me for a long time. I always was so out of touch with other people and society in general.

a few years ago I was diagnosed with ADHD according to a psychiatrist. Recently I have also undergone genetic testing for the DRD4 repeat gene and was also positive.

In the meantime I have enjoyed not having any friends in middleschool, highschool or college. I have also enjoyed getting terrible grades in middleschool and getting average grades in highschool and college despite studying to 3 am almost all nights.

looking back, I did a lot of stupid things, but it's not like I intentionally pissed anyone off.

why did god play such a cruel joke on me?

I am on the verge of splitting my head against the wall right now
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