You're clearly having a go with this, but I'll try to rise above and explain it rationally.
It's not "hugging". Hugging is affectionate. BJJ is combative. The main goal of BJJ and other submission grappling systems is to get the opponent to admit defeat by threatening them with unconsciousness or with the destruction of a joint. The locks and chokes that best fill these requirements have certain optimum positions they must be applied from.
It's a bit like chess. In chess, every piece has a certain movement pattern. In grappling, certain positions are better for some holds than others. And the guy on the defensive keeps trying to move into a position where he's less vulnerable to getting a limb snapped or his brain shut down with a choke.
Now you also have to take into account that not only is this a mental exercise, but a physical one. Imagine trying to play chess while pushing a car around a parking lot as fast as you can.
Despite your alleged "suspicions", most guys in BJJ aren't gay. I'm not. Neither are any training partners that I know of. I find no sexual pleasure in grappling; to me, it's a combative and sportive activity. I'm sexually attracted to women. And frankly, most of us don't like to be sweated on, or leave the mat smelling like some other dude's BO. But we like the physical chess game of out-thinking and out-fighting our opponents. Everything worth having in this life is worth a little discomfort, right? Nobody goes on a diet because they really love not eating sweets; nobody gets a Master's degree because they like having no personal life and staying up 'til 3am doing nothing but research papers. So no, I DON'T enjoy grappling because I roll around with sweaty men. That actually brings me no joy, and most of the people who do BJJ will agree with me. I enjoy grappling because I get to test my technical accumen and physical endurance against another human being. Playing darts or tennis or something is abstract, but if I'm ever attacked, my grappling training can actually save my life.
At any rate, I figure if someone was gay, they'd just have gay sex, instead of going to a public place, fully clothed, while having their shoulder yanked out of its socket. I mean, I can't imagine BJJ would be condusive to romance. Not if you're doing it right.