How to overcome my self-consciousness and shyness in class ,public and friends?
I am 22 yrs old boy. Now working in an automobile company.
I don't know why but I have a problem maintaining eye contact with the person I'm talking to. specially when talking to girl. I also look down while walking.i think every body in the street looks at me.i know this is only my wrong thougt.but I cant over come this. I interact very less with the people around and like shy to talk to unknown persons.
Some times I stare at them to hide my problem and hence Some people usually not make eye-contact with me.i am experiencing this problem since past five years.
I think if someone look at my eyes then it means that they are attracted towards me or they like me as a friend.and if they are not looking into eyes then it means they are not much interested with me..
(Here is a brief description about my past life.
I was a good scoring student in school.i hav a lot of friends . I hav better relationship with my teachers and all people .i speaks a lot .
My father was an alcohole addict . he seems ridiculus infront of public.this worried me a lot(now he is stopped this habit). Due to this I started to avoid people around me. for eg: If I see a friend in street I try to escape frm his view.finally I become this stage .)
Due to this my relationships are suffering.i am thinking very seriously about suicide due this problem.i am totally worried.
Please help .Kindly suggest sum exercises.
- KatieLv 69 years agoBest Answer
It sounds like you are suffering from social anxiety disorder due to what your father did when you we're younger. It's actually quite common, and there is hope. You need to learn that society is a safe place. I would recommend that you contact a psychiatrist, or even your primary doctor, and inform them of what's going on. It's possible that you may just need some therapy to help you overcome your anxiety when being around other people. There's something that i would suggest that you do in the meantime. Practice slow breathing exercises. Take in a slow deep breath. Hold it for 7-8 seconds. Then slowly exhale. Repeat this until your anxiety subsides. You can do these exercises no matter where you're at. I'm worried that if you don't get help that it will get worse. It could lead you to either develop panic disorder, or it may get to the point where you feel like you can't leave your home. (agoraphobia) If you get help, you should be alright. So please, get off the computer, and make some phone calls. Good luck! I hope you find true peace and happiness within yourself.
- 9 years ago
first of all do some breathing exercise.....
Practice dynamic meditation.And don't do it while sitting down.Do it in a standing Posture and take our everything which you have in yourself.
Dance, move, cry, scream,,,,whatever you want to do .....do with that.
You can get the CD of that from http://www.gurumaa.com/store/guided-medi… is also available in hindi in the same site.
Practice it and see the difference.
You can also practice Yoga nidra.It will help you to come out of all kind of stress and enhance confidence.
Mind it avoidance is not a solution.
- 9 years ago
I have gone through your question thoroughly. One think you are lacking is self confidence. In our country there are more than 50% people who face this problem. You feel more because you are into that kind of job profile where you need more interaction to people. I am from Punjab and was very Shy and use to speak in Punjabi or Hindi only, no English. when i got job in IT company in Bangalore there i have to speak to US client for the first time. It was hard for me to speak in English and on that i was too shy to speak in front of my team. But i started taking to my team more in English, they use to correct me and same with friends.
Now what all you need to do is:-
1. You said your father was alcohol addict:- One thing In India how many fathers are like that so all people now will start behaving like you is not the solution. u need to think on this and start taking to your friends. if they are real friends to they will support you. no one will eat you if you speak to them. Just think once, Has any friend of yours stopped taking to you? You need to improve from here itself. Friends are the people where you can talk anything and get confidence of taking to any new person in your life you are meeting.
2. Think in +ve way. Take things +ve in ur life. you have got this prestigious life and do not commit suicide, this is not the right way.This is very small problem.
3Have you seen movie "Jab we met"? If not, see it once and learn how hero in that movie did all what all he was scarred to do in his life.
4 Speak more to people near you or in office no one will kill you, i have not seen people killed anyone for taking.
5 Be in society of good and +ve people so that you can improve in the company of those people.
6 Join GYM where you can workout for few hours and you will be away from your home environment also you will get good sleep which helps in improving the persons confidence. When there is good body and health you get confidence to talk to people.
At the end:-- Do not even touch to Alcohol in your life otherwise your son would be writing the same again on Yahoo Question and Answer blog after 15 years.
I know you can improve there are many good answers below go through.
GOOD LUCK DEAR... Once again do not even think on committing subside for anything.
- 9 years ago
dont worry u'll b alr8 ma dear,
make a group of frnds in ur circle may near 2 ur home or in ur working place
chat wit them alot , share ur feelngs<happy n sad too>, make sure tat u r talkng wit havng eye contact
sit in padmasana
close ur eyes
forget abt everythng happening around u
clam ur mind
dont thnk abt anythng
take a deep breath (as long as possibl)
exhale slowlyyy , it removes toxic in ur body
it works alot