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Lanziee asked in 社會及文化語言 · 1 decade ago

(20點) 麻煩幫手改APPLY LETTER

Dear Dr. XXX ,

My name is XXX,I am a student with 14points in HKCEE (Level 3 in Chinese Language and English Language ) who wishes to apply for admission into the prestigious XXX College.

I'm now studying in HK XXX College for the business class but there is far enough to a good place for study, thus I decided to apply for a better school.

I would be grateful if you could give me a chance and arrange me an interview.

Please find attached to this e-mail of my CV that details my HKCEE result below.

I am looking forward to your kindly reply.

Regards,

XXX

9XXX XXXX.

(P.S. To whom it may concern, Please help me forward this letter to the principal ,Thank you very much indeed.)

-----

事關重大,麻煩各位英文好的朋友幫幫忙,

小弟已經寫左上面封信,雖然已經盡力寫得客氣同尊敬D,但本身英文唔好,恐怕出問題,所以希望各位幫幫忙。

Q1: 請CHECK下有冇文法錯,或者望落會覺得奇怪的句子

Q2:語境有冇問題?如果你係該校長看到的話會唔會俾機會我?有什麼可以改善的地方,增加人地俾我IN的機會?

Q3:我唔識點樣客氣地表達自己讀緊果間學校唔好,怕寫錯野人地對我印象唔好。

THANKS

1 Answer

Rating
  • Ling
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Date: xxxxxx

    TO: XXXx College

    ATTN: The Principal / Dr. XXXXX

    Dear Dr. XXX ,

    My name is XXX,I am a student with 14points in HKCEE (Level 3 in Chinese Language and English Language ) and wish to apply for admission into the prestigious XXX College.

    I'm currently studying in the business course in HK XXX College but wish to study a better & prestigious College like yours.

    Please find attached my CV with the details of my HKCEE result with this email for your easy reference.

    I would be grateful if you could grant me a chance for an interview.

    Thanks and look forward to having your favourable reply shortly .

    Yours sincerely,

    XXX

    Tel: 9XXX XXXX.

    (P.S.Please kindly pass this letter to the Principal. Thanks a lot!)

    Please kindly note that the underline is to draw your attentio and is not required in the email or letter. Just try and see if you will have an interview shortly.

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