I'm 13, male. I feel like I'm ugly? (long)?

Hi. You're probably laughing, I know. Haha :)

I know that a lot of these questions pop up and I'm gonna get a lot of answers like "go do your homework" or "you're too young to be worrying about that, dear."

I've basically always had lots of friends, my whole life, I've never been overweight, and in fact, I never really started feeling that I was ugly until recently. I'm 5'9" and growing steadily, I weigh about 115, athletic (I run), and I have hazel eyes. I'm 13 years old, in the 8th grade. I don't really have acne THAT bad, but I have some in between my eyebrows and in the area between my nose and lips -- it's not so much pimply but it's more like dark spots and I feel that it really diminishes my appearance. I liked myself more when I had bangs that came down below my eyebrows and covered my forehead completely. Now most of my forehead is still covered, but now the length from the bottom of my bangs to the bottom of my eyebrows measures about an inch or so. I feel my lips are too big to hold "normally" so I usually close my top lip down to hide them. My smile is really big, so I guess my mouth is too. My teeth aren't crooked or anything, but I still hate them for some reason. There's a very very small gap between my front two teeth, but it's barely noticeable, nobody ever says anything about it.

As for other people, nobody ever calls me ugly. One of my friends (a girl) always reassures me that I have nothing to worry about and I look just fine. I've even been called cute/hot before, but only by a few girls and that doesn't really help me, plus, when I look in the mirror, I see anything but "cute or hot". Anyways, I do have lots of friends and I guess my group of friends are more sports oriented, I guess we would be stereotyped as preps (haha). I've had girlfriends before, and as I said, it's only fairly recently, in these few recent months that I've really worried about this. Even in like late June of this year, I looked in the mirror and I was really happy, but that was because I was feeling really good about a haircut, and that only lasted about a week. I don't really like my hair either, as I said, I wish it was a little bit longer. My eyebrows are kinda big and thick, sorta, but nobody really comments on them. Back to acne a bit, I've been using the 2x a day Proactiv regimen for around 2 weeks and it's helped a little bit, but not much so far. I also feel like my head's a little too big, so I have my eyebrows held up a lot, which isn't really such a big deal, but still, I just hate feeling like I have to do extra things to look less than decent (to myself anyways) while most other people can look just fine without worrying about it. Other than my face, I'm really in very good shape, there's nothing really bad about my body, which I am thankful for. I've always been called pretty smart, even when I was a small child people asked my parents if I was a genius. I also lack ignorance, which I feel is really good for someone my age, I've been told that I'm mature beyond my years, which I took as a huge compliment, since most kids my age can still act pretty immature sometimes, but don't get me wrong, I'm not serious all the time. I look in the mirror a LOT and mess with my hair too, almost to a point of obsession, and it really doesn't help, so maybe I should stop that. I come from a pretty fortunate home, my dad works for the FBI and makes somewhere over $150K a year, not that I tell people that or anything. I just feel really uncomfortable with myself right now and need some advice. What should I do?

To add: I'm very musically oriented, I love listening to music and playing it, I have very good dexterity in my hands and fingers. My calves are also kinda big from running a lot :P and as I said, I've always been told that I'm very intelligent and insightful, which is nice to know I guess. It's just my looks that I hate.

And I know that most likely this will go away over time, as my hormones are changing and that kind of stuff, and even that looks fade over time. I just hate feeling separated from everyone else by looks, even if it's just me imagining it, since nobody ever really mentions my looks to me or insults me about it, and I've been reassured that I look just fine. I've heard "beauty is skin deep" and "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" and all those quotes, I just can't seem to get over it right now, even know I really should be enjoying my teen years while I can. Can someone help? Thanks for your time, I really appreciate you, whoever you are. :)

Sheesh. That was really long :P


I'm a guy. I said I was male. :P

Update 2:

Terry K: Yeah, I've heard of BDD. I wondered about it. I've heard of making positive comments in the mirror too, I tried it once and it worked a bit, but I only tried once, but thanks for the advice. :)

4 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    At your age, I thought I was so ugly I sat in class with my hair covering my face so no one could see me. It didn't matter how many girls told me I was good looking, when I looked in the mirror I saw the ugliest critter that ever lived. It's called Body Dysmorphic Disorder and is the leading cause of suicide in teenagers. If you have it to the point where it affects your life, you really need to get some help. Getting help is nothing to be embarrassed about I wish I had.

    Here is an exercise that will boost your self-esteem. Start making positive comments about yourself out loud. Like when you pass a mirror say something like, "Damn I look good!" or "Oh yeah, if I was a chick, I'd do me." It has to be aloud because you need to hear it. And preferably do it when there is someone else there. I'm not kidding you; it really works. My self-esteem got so High i was obnoxious. Your faculty and student councilors are probably too stupid to even know what dysmorphia is so talk to your parents and tell them you feel like you may need to see someone. You really do need to address and arrest this before it becomes a major problem like it did for me.

  • 1 decade ago

    Just about everyone at your age feels "ugly" or "awkward"....because, sadly, movies and magazines have tried to dictate how a teenager should or should not look. Which, of course, causes insecurity, self-doubt, and loss of self-esteem. I used to feel the same way when I was younger; I felt so insecure, and shy. But, now that I'm a little older, and wiser, I love myself for who I am. Hopefully, you will as well :) Keep your head up. :)

  • 1 decade ago

    everyone goes through it. its called hormones, you'll be fine, where as you might never FEEL beautiful. **** happens life goes on, and it really doesn't matter that much

  • 1 decade ago

    are you a guy or a girl?

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