For those who are married without children...?

Why did you choose not to have any? Bad childhood? Finances? Simply didn't want to? I understand that everyone has the right to choose whether or not they want children, this is simply out of curiosity. Yahoo ran a story about retiring early without kids and it sparked a debate amongst the people commenting.

It's only fair that I state my reasons for having them and it is because we felt like it was the natural thing to do. And as my husband always says, the world needs good people. So if you care to share, what made you and your husband decide to not havy any children? Thank you.

3 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Well, Mel, I gotta butt in here. I am NOT a childless "parent".. well Maybe I am, Ha!

    Long story short: I married at 32 (a "bit" late), had three kids, then was divorced when the oldest was 8. -really sad-!

    However, I have worked with MANY large families:( 6, 6, 7, 10, 8, and thirteen children) consecutively. These families (oddly enough) were not products of two working parents (though they WERE plenty of work! Ha! But they WERE all Christians, and missionary families. Now if I told you about one or two, it would be easy enough to just write it off as "luck". (And they had PLENTY!) But ALL these families (and even more that I know of) had a common factor in their planning and their "ideology" that many people just can't even conceive of: some call it "the God factor", which basically amounts to "God DID put me on this earth to "be fruitful and multiply" (Genesis 1; very first commandment), He does (and always has ) take care of His own. And while --as you put it-- "The world needs more good people" it sadly does not ALWAYS pan out that way, still that's no reason not to at least try at all.. There are just oodles of promises in the Bible on it, Old AND New Testament! So if someone tells me "Oh, I'm just SOOO worried that I can't provide for a few children.." Good grief! What are the OTHER people doing that are taking OTHER children into their homes, or even running whole orphanages.

    Famous guy named George Müller started MANY schools and orphanages in England in th 19th century and NEVER asked anybody for a penny... but he PRAYED!

    I found a girl I used to know in church when I was 8-12, through facebook. She had really liked me and I had liked her. When I asked if she had any kids, she said "No, and I don't want any! Just a cat!" Boy, was I glad I didn't marry HER!

    There is an expression: "You can give yourself rich, or you can hoard yourself poor." And I believe you'll find this true in the case of choosing whether or whether NOT to have children, generally, too. Those who choose NOT to share what they have with their offspring, but rather to have "nice things": BMW, trips to the Bahamas, did she say "Casino"!!?? (and she's having financial problems?) leisure and pleasures that can be bought, usually also glean their share of troubles to boot. (Medical bills, troubles, lawsuits, "moth and rust"!)

    But one thing I believe, strongly, Mel: the people that don't WANT to have children, SHOULDN'T! No way! They are not ready! They do not have a balanced enough picture of life to deserve the joy as well as the responsibility and the shocks of parenthood. They're probably mostly afraid of poop!

    Martin Luther said (and he had a big house full of people and kids and visitors and --at that time-- refugees from persecution), "With every mouth, God will provide something to put into it!"

    How did Mother Theresa do it? She took care of hundreds of children no-one wanted, and left a legacy which speaks to us all. "Sure," people will say, "but the church foot the bill!" But the church, basically, supported her, AFTER she got started there in the filth of Calcutta, with her love and her compassion that moved her to WANT these children who no-one else did!

    You either want kids, or you don't. What I'm sayin' is: what's the matter with the people who DON'T?

    Oh, I almost forgot there's a wonderful slideshow called something like "The Price of children" It's worth watching, and beautiful, if you haven't seen it.

    Thanks for deciding to be a mom! Like Jesus said of Mary (not his Mom) "She has chosen that better part, and it shall not be taken away from her!"

    Source(s): Experience! Sticky, beautiful, challenging, rewarding
  • 1 decade ago

    I stayed on birth control through my 20's and 30's since I was single. I did not want kids alone single with no dad. My choice. I think I did the right thing for me.

    When I met my husband I was 39 and he was 49 so we absolutely did not want kids together due to our age. It would have been a burden to us that age. I wasn't interested in having a child at 39.

    His two kids from early on with his first wife provided me with two step kids. I must say they did drain our bank account through the years. I am being honest here. Children's financial responsiblity does not end when they reach 18 oh fact they get more expensive really. Now their bike becomes a car. They have their rent and have children out of wedlock you can't turn your back on them either they are your children. So now they will cost more in helping them out. But we do it even though we have no retirement or savings. It's just the what has happened with the economy.

    I can certainly understand anyone who doesn't want kids in their life. Of course this is only my opinion and you asked for my opinion so that is it.

    Source(s): Happily married now for 13 yrs :)
  • 1 decade ago

    We simply didn't want any. We are also in financial turmoil as we speak, and it would have been a Disaster, had we actually HAD kids. With me being laid off for the past 2 years, and only one income coming in, with his job on the line, No decision was better made. I don't know about retiring early, but we do enjoy our time alone together. Take weekend trips, go to the movies and the casino, and volunteer our time. We couldn't be happier. That is not to say that we are kid ogres, we just don't want any of our own.

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