? asked in Pregnancy & ParentingAdoption · 10 years ago

Gotta ask -- What's up with all the negative feedback for LDS Family Services?

Okay, on the "vote for the worst in adoption" question, most of the votes were for LDS Family Services. I gotta ask why? What experience do you have with them? What have you read? What do you know? Why all the negative feedback?

I ask because I am familiar with this group, I live in Utah. I have followed some of the negative press on adoption, especially specific to Utah and there's a lot! I know of at least two specific cases, one which is very public, where the fathers were trying to stop the adoption and LDS Family Services would not move forward with the adoptions when they found out about it. Another case where the mother came to Utah so she could deliver the baby and the adoption would be under Utah law -- LDS Family Services wouldn't let her go through them because they were concerned she was trying to bypass the system and hide something from the father. Isn't that what we want from an adoption agency?

Just wondering what everyone elses experiences are with them so I can decide if it's just word of mouth because they promote adoption (2nd to the couple marrying and raising the child together) or if there are valid issues going on.

Thanks in advance!

Update:

ETA thanks for the answers so far! Especially those with first-hand experience -- very helpful!

Annabelle -- I think you make a great point about lobbying for adoption laws in Utah. I agree that it's time for those to get a facelift. The "by Mormons for Mormons" thing -- I do know that only members of the LDS church can adopt through them. The biological parents don't need to be LDS but all the adoptive couples are and even have to have a sign-off by their church leader to be approved. Interesting I thought.

Tish -- I totally get the racist thing, that's always been a question for me but I'm pretty sure no Haiti adoptions went through LDS Family Services. I think there were LDS families that adopted but if they did they used different agencies.

Pip -- The information you listed -- is that recently? Did you talk with these moms that had those experiences? I just ask because I think lately it's been different but didn't know if you have been hearing this now or earlier?

14 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    10 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    I placed my daughter through LDS FS and thought it was an overall good experience. We were offered a lot of counseling and group therapy. My social worker was there with me from start to finish. I was raised LDS, but do not attend now, and am still so glad that I went with LDS. Some of the reasons that some girls go with this service is because they want a temple worthy family to adopt their child. This was a big reason for me. I was able to go to the temple during the ceiling and I was so thankful that this was able to happen. I don't think that words here on yahoo answers can explain in full what all the reasons are for going with LDS FS, but I'm glad I did.

    Source(s): birth mom of a 5 year old girl. just got a positive HPT of my own!
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  • 4 years ago

    They are things that can only be discovered after hundreds and hundreds of trials. And of course, strict restriction needs to be in place. However, because the basis of science is always changing due to new discoveries, we need to also have sympathy to the drug company as well. They are not miracle makers, they only try to make profits by selling something that they "think" might help other people. Imagine the world without antibiotics and other medication, how many people would have to die? If we agree that science can be changed, the drug company might not have an excuse of increasing medication prices because of law suit.Also if we look at any other area that has used the socialist system it has bogged down and failed to live up to its Utopian promise. No system is perfect but open and free market is the best out there.

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  • 10 years ago

    I feel it is a combination of lack of knowledge in general of the LDS church and the assumption that every adoption agency in Utah is affiliated with the Church. As you stated, there have been a few high profile contested adoptions in the news about Utah, and people assume that because they are taking place in Utah, LDS Family Services is involved, which is not true. One case that went to the Utah Supreme Court and another that just appeared have nothing to do with LDS Family Services.

    My daughter worked with LDS Family services for a while. The caseworker was VERY careful to follow the laws. He also was great and making sure she knew ALL of her options and was not coercive in any way, shape or form. I am sure that varies from caseworker to caseworker, and from state to state. I do know in one case in Texas, the caseworker mishandled the case and was legally reprimanded.

    Yes, they promote adoptions. Yes the LDS Church does too. It is a different opinion then what is held by most people here in Y!A.. It's not necessarily a wrong opinion.

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  • 10 years ago

    I think part of the problem is that they do have rather.... old fashioned rules and different beliefs about adoption. They believe, strongly, that every child needs a two parents (opposite sex) family. I don't have to agree with them on this, but I don't think they keep it a secret either. They run an adoption agency based on their faith, that's all there is to know.

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  • 10 years ago

    There's nothing wrong with Mormons. It's another religion & there seems to be a lot of myths about it. (I'm not Mormon but I have a friend who is, who happens to be both an adult adoptee & an adoptive mom (who did not adopt through LDS Family Services), & is a very nice, normal person.) As for LDS Family Services, I haven't worked with them & don't know much about them, but like any other adoption agency they might be a good fit for some families but not a good fit for others. I can think of several other agencies that I know of that are dishonest & unethical & would be better choices for "Demons of Adoption."

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  • 10 years ago

    I don't know much about them but why I don't like LDS Family Services is because there are mothers who were considering adoption put through pressure by them. In each case the LDS Family Services wanted the mothers to Utah or if they were already there to move away from their support network (family/friends). They also had 'persuasion' that adoption is wonderful, loving, selfless, child better off with two parents etc. Ther was no counselling or looking at all options yet in all cases the mothers were only considering adoption as an option not what they definitely wanted to do. The mothers I know off either ended up parenting and in a couple cases they went through other adoption agencies.

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  • Anonymous
    10 years ago

    Maybe LDS Family Services is super in the US (read Utah) however my personal experience with LDSFS in Canada was nothing short of horrific.

    This is going to be long- sorry in advance.Being as I am LDS, and some of my extended family is not, I feel personally responsible for this debacle. One of my extended family also left a fundamental form of Mormonism, and though she was out, she was also pregnant and ill-equipped to care for the child. So I got ahold of LDSFS in order that upon giving birth she might place the child for adoption. What followed was a comedy of errors.

    She gave birth but the family who was to pick up the child in the hospital was a no-show and so my RS president advised that we should take the child to my house. Long story short Mom bonded with the child and did not want to relinquish. So we set her up with an apartment and baby things, a crib, stroller etc. Well three months on it was clear to her that she had lived in a closed social system for too long and had all sorts of social and educational deficits that meant she was ill-equipped to parent. Back to LDSFS. They arranged to place the child with a member family who lived in another province and so the RS president went with this girl and packed up all the baby stuff and sent the child and the stuff off with this family. No papers were ever signed, and I had assumed there were, as did the RS Sister.

    Anyway, it transpired that the prospective ADOPTIVE Mother found herself pregnant and decided that SHE could not bond with the child. My relative was the recipient of several letters to the effect that her child had been passed along to yet a third family, and that thirdSister was writing to plead for formal custody of the child. Then my relative moved back in with me, overwhelmed with this I think. LDSFS based in the extreme south of our province phoned because I at the time lived in a remote location, and said that the other province had applied for temporary custody of the child, who would be put in foster care because all the letters that my relative had sent the third family constituted was a baby-sitting agreement of sorts.

    Then my RS President phoned me and told me that the second family along with the third sister were at that moment in transit to bring the child back and further that the third hoped to reach some sort of adoption agreement.

    The next morning they showed up and put my relative's son in her arms, and she ran into the bathroom and locked the door; not wanting to even meet the third family at all. Well, my bishop again authorized food and things for the child just while we worked it all out. LDSFS managed to finally put in an appearance. Here's the thing: they had never dealt with such a situation, that office had never had an adoptive family actually bring baby back without consulting them. Turns out papers were written but they were for the wrong legal jurisdiction and never signed and while the mother could not cancel the adoption in their eyes, they had no experience with the adoptive family passing on the child to a third party. In the mean time, and it took a while, the putative father got his hands into the pie so to speak, and Mom was so intimidated she gave the baby to the father who then returned to the community he lived in, and so we have never heard anything more about it.(It is a closed community of fundamentalist Mormons.)

    This whole thing did not impress me that LDSFS knows what they are doing. But that is maybe about this is the missionfields not Utah. I have a strong testimony that I know this church is true; however perhaps partially based on this experience my half-sister never was baptized.

    Source(s): An Auntie who will never send another to LDSFS ever
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  • 10 years ago

    When I thought I was pregnant, I got in touch with LDSFS and arranged to start callabriting with them. Well long story short after I started talking to her and after talking with her twice I never got a call back, and anytime I tried to call them back I was told that the lady wasent avaible. I wasent very impressed

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  • 10 years ago

    It's a religious adoption agency for Mormons by Mormons. If other people don't like it then that's their affair. I am pretty sure a lot of it has to deal with the fact that the LDS Family services refuses to adopt out to single people or specifically to Homosexual couples either. Notice one of the answers said "archaic adoption rules" Gee that would happen to be adopting to single people or to couples without benefit of marriage or to homosexual couples would it? We all know that the LDS church has standards on how children get adopted out. Since LDS believe that children should be sealed to a family for eternity. The LDS Family services believe in all the standards that the LDS church holds. Duh!

    I knew a woman in our ward that couldn't have children, she managed to adopt a child from LDSFS. The adoption was also open so the single mother had a chance to see her child. The single mother adopted them out because she knew she couldn't take care of them. But the woman who adopted them was kind enough to let this mother see her children as well.

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  • Anonymous
    10 years ago

    My mom took my brother for help @ LDS services in UT. For one my family would not tell me what was wrong with my brother and I knew my Mom was depressed and my dad was OCD and both would not get help. My brother had to be Autistic, if I had to put a name on it. He would get frustrated and violent. Well my ward and LDS services never helped but gossiped allot about my family and another family in our ward that seriously needed help.

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