I don't know how to understand my true feelings. Help?

I have difficulties knowing what I'm feeling. There have been only 2 people that I developed feelings for but did not become aware of my feelings until they were gone. One... I never told him how I felt. He still doesn't know. One of them let me go because I couldn't differentiate between the love I... show more I have difficulties knowing what I'm feeling. There have been only 2 people that I developed feelings for but did not become aware of my feelings until they were gone.
One... I never told him how I felt. He still doesn't know.
One of them let me go because I couldn't differentiate between the love I felt for him and a crush I had on someone else (I had broken up with my bf because I thought he didn't love me any more and hence developed the crush as a rebound, I think). Once I finally realised that I loved him and that he did mean it when he said he loved me, and that the other thing was a silly crush, he'd forced himself to move on.
I'm still very good friends them. As for my other relationships, there weren't any true feelings from my side.
I feel like I’m scared for some reason to feel vulnerable and I’m the typical person who uses humor to change the subject. Feelings are scary and people tend to misuse your feelings. I feel dead, empty and hallow inside. No one sparks my interest and the touch of the uninteresting is sickening. I literally want to puke. I constantly question the relationship when I am in one and push the person away. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Help me fix it?
How do I distinguish between love and a new exciting crush?
1 answer 1