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Shamgaur asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 10 years ago

Have you ever had nothing to say when someone tells you a loved one has died?

I totally drew a blank when this guy I'm acquainted with said his wife died. I was at a loss for words. Now I feel like a jerk.

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  • 10 years ago
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    I imagine while you felt bad for the guy you had nothing to say because you have no time invested in your relationship. In times like those the best thing you can say is "I'm sorry for your loss," and that's it.

    If it were a close friend or a family member you were close to your attitude would have.been just as fine. When my dad died I didn't know what to say. I had to tell my mom and I was quiet on the phone. After a few seconds I had to tell her tocome home because I couldn't even say it. It is the utter shock that you were consumed with and you did nothing wrong. Your reaction would've been fine in either situation. Remember that some people just have a different response.

    One of my friends when I told them that my father had died gave me a hug and began crying. Another one of my friends when his mom died he became a recluse for about a week and after that he wouldn't speak to anyone for a while. Don't be so hard on yourself.

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  • 10 years ago

    What can you do? If this guy was only an acquaintance I assume that you don't have much invested in him as a part of your life. You obviously aren't close enough to the situation to offer anything insightful. I doubt that you would be of any comfort to him unless he knew you had suffered a similar loss. Unless he is closer to you than your question would imply he honestly probably shouldn't have even burdened you with mentioning it. You aren't a jerk. It was an awkward situation where most anybody would react similarly.

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  • 10 years ago

    I think many people are at a loss for words when they hear of someone's death... There are no words really. Nothing anyone could say will bring hte person back, or make the pain any less.

    Sometimes just letting the surviving person know that if they need anything they can call or talk to you helps.

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  • 10 years ago

    I drew a blank when someone told me MY grandmother had passed away. It was on the phone, and after a minute he was like, "Um, are you there?"

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  • 10 years ago

    It happens. Sometimes the news is so shocking or unexpected, we don't think fast enough to respond. You can always send or give him a card.

    Next time, whenever you heard bad news, just say "I'm so sorry to hear that".

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  • 10 years ago

    yes one of my friends baby passed away and I couldn't talk to her for weeks because when she would talk about her baby I didn't know want to say. It was because I didn't want to say something that would hurt her.

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