Sex after childbirth? Horn-dog husband to celibacy? (long, please don't answer if you won't read thoroughly)?
My husband has an ex that he began dating when she was nearly 8mo pregnant. She actually weighed a pound less after she gave birth than her pre-pregnancy weight, had no stretchmarks, and my husband said that she actually felt tighter, rather than looser, during sex after she had her baby. He hasn't compared me to her- I'm doing that all on my own here. I just feel that even though this woman is a freak of nature that my husband isn't 100% prepared for the fact that my body will never be the same. He took a sexuality course at the college and went to all the birthing classes with me so he knows...I just know there will be a point when he does mentally compare me to her. It's human nature. (I have severe stretchmarks, gained some weight but am within my target range, and already feel "looser" but haven't even given birth yet.)
Anyways, my husband is kind of a horn-dog. I know it will be difficult for him to wait the required 6wks after childbirth for sex, much less however long it takes me to feel sexy and emotionally ready afterwords. (Not emotionally ready aka no bj's or alternate means of intercourse.) I already don't think I'll ever be emotionally ready ever again. (Don't tell me ur sure I'll come around, I have ptsd and I've suffered severe depression for years.)
So, HEREIN LIES MY QUESTION: How do I get him to understand why I cannot have sex anymore and that I'm serious about this? (Whenever I talk to him about it he insists that I'll come around to sex again eventually and sort of laughs off the idea of my being celibate.)
ALSO NOTE (THIS IS A DISCLAIMER TO HELP RULE OUT ADVICE I CANNOT USE): I used palmer's cocoa butter 2xs a day for my whole pregnancy as well as tummy butter. No lotion, cream, etc, fades the stretchmarks for me now. I also exercise, eat right, plan on nursing my baby, and do kegals properly. I have ruled out surgery because I have no financial means for it and because of the risks of loss of sensation. I cannot use hormonal creams, pills, or other treatments because they give me heart palpitations.
Also, there are plenty of healthy celibate couples. And he is free to leave without resentment from me at any point. Some people cannot help the way society and instict pre-program the need for sex. There would be no need to cheat.