This is pretty personal. To be honest, I'd break up with him. Tell him that you don't want to feel this way anymore, because unless you want that to define your relationship, you have to make it clear that he can't keep treating you that way anymore. And your confirmation that it's the right decision is if he turns it around on you. It is your fault, and I'm sure you won't ever forget that, but you can't live underneath it for the rest of your life. And the person who means that much to you can't want that for you either. If it's meant to be, maybe it will work out, but if not, and I really hate to say this, you kind of brought it on yourself, and it might be more than can be reconciled with that person. You probably shouldn't continue to make such a critical relationship in your life that negative though. You're surrounding yourself with things that will likely eventually make you depressed and unable to move on and recover from your mistake.
Also, I know this is brutally honest too, but it sounds like you might need to work on your relationship with whatever God you believe in. If you're intellectual and read the Bible, try Job, not just the story line, but the whole thing. If you're more spiritual, get a journal and really honestly try to figure out what he's trying to communicate to you, because I'm fairly certain most people believe in a God who is ultimately just, so if you feel like that's not the case, you might be missing the real point. Maybe he wants you to put yourself or your spirituality above this guy on your priority list.
Seriously though, it would be so refreshing to get a new start and really define who you are as a person and find some confidence in that, which you can't do with people holding you back.
· 9 years ago