Caysters asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 decade ago

How can I NOT be upset?

My step dad went through my room when I was away and threw away everything that was on my desk and dresser, meaning various prescriptions and a few other items are missing. Among these items is something my great grandma made HERSELF back in like, the 70s or 80s. She made a little ceramic dish and lid, and it's just PERFECT. My great grandma passed away 8 years ago and this is one of few things I have left of her.

My mom knew that he went in and took things, but didn't know what. She told me to try and not be pissed off about things, but I haven't had the chance to tell her that THIS is missing, among other things. How can I NOT be pissed off? This is the only handmade thing I have from my great grandma, I was named after my great grandma, and I miss her constantly. How am I suppose to just brush it off my shoulder and not let him feel like he has won?

Update:

I can't tell him how pissed off I am at him. He'd kick me out.

My mom didn't know he did it until after it was done. He did it when she was asleep. She's sick with MS, so she really doesn't have the strength to fight with everything he does.

He took my printer, a few prescriptions, like for sleep and headache, and tons of other stuff that I don't know about because soooo much is missing.

He took all my shoes from my closet, but my mom said it just gives her an excuse to use her Kohl's cash to get me some new shoes. I'm sure lots of what he took is replaceable, but THIS isn't.

Update 2:

Thanks for your suggestions. I did end up finding a few of the things missing from my room. I found the dish, thank god, and my prescriptions too.

My mom isn't with him because of his insurance, she has her own through her work and it's better than his. She's pretty much only staying with him until she can pay off her debt and afford to move out.

I'm trying to move out, I'm taking a CNA course starting next Wednesday, so I can get a job paying enough to allow me to move out. Hoping to move in with my dad and step mom. I waited to decide to move with him until she sobered up, and she has done just that.

Thanks for your support. My mom knows where she thinks he hid some of the other stuff, so she's going to look there in the morning and see if he still has them locked in his car, then take them and hide them for me. Plus, we're going shopping for new shoes and such.

6 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Check the trash and see if the ceramic dish & lid is still there !. Tell you Mom . She might know where he put the stuff. This is something that is precious to you, and can no be replaced. He might have not known its signficance.

    I don't know why he went into your room. Sound like you and your stepfather have issues. Mom might too.

    I didn't see the additional information until I posted. Mom has a chronic disease. She might need his health insurance so she is willing to put up with his abusive behavior. My sister has serious health problems, and she has chosen to stay with her husband for the health insurance. My friend's mother chose to stay with a sociopath and psychopath due to her health problems. Women do what they have to do to survive even if it means denying their adult children.

    Hon- he wants you out. You need to start making long term plans to get out.

    Followup- I am so happy you found your great-grandmother's dish !!!! Get it out of the house so your stepfather can not get to it again.

    I was right about your Mom staying with him for a reason, but guessed the wrong issue. It still has something to do with money. She is choosing to stay with him over you even after this incident.

    Re: Step-mom Think long and hard about moving in with someone who has a drinking problem - active or non-active. Seek advice from Al- Anon.

    RE: CNA course Fantastic.

    Hon, Good luck. May your great- grandma in heaven watch over you.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    This is an emergency! Deliberate destruction of property is domestic abuse. Call your local battered women's hotline and see what they can do to help you find another place to stay. You are a victim of a crime: theft. Talk to the hotline about how to safely seek relief from the legal system, you need an intervention from professionals in the legal system. It's important to document everything that happened. You could very well be in personal danger, so if you have the option of going to a shelter, do it. The social workers there will help you find housing and whatever else you need. After that, you have to help your Mom. MS can be very debilitating both mentally and physically so she may not be able to act in her own best interest. You need to talk to an attorney or call your local legal aid office. You deserve to live in a safe secure home. Best wishes to you, dear.

  • Mercy
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    Tell your Mom that what you Great Grandma made is one of the things that is missing. I'd think she'll be pissed off to if you ask me. Dude there is no way your going to be able to just 'brush' it off. Tell your Mom that and see what she has to say. Hey how would she like it if your stepdad took her jeweler and pawned it off? That is so infuriating!!! Dude do not take this lying down, stand up and tell your stepdad that he was wrong for doing this and that you don't much care for him now.

  • 4 years ago

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  • 1 decade ago

    i think one of the first things you should do is tell your mom that he threw away the gift from your great grandma

    second thing i think you should do is see if you can find the things your step dad threw out, so you can see if you can get them back. also call a doctor about the prescriptions.

    you could also try talking to your step dad about why he threw your things away, and try telling him about how much some of the things meant to you

  • 1 decade ago

    Well personally I feel that he shouldn't have gone through your personal belongings. HE IS NOT YOUR FATHER and your mother should feel guilty for letting this guy go in there. I seriously hate when women take the side of there husband instead of taking the side of there own kids. Just tell your mother how you feel!

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