Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 9 years ago

My World's hottest GF is coming to NYC area and didn't even tell me she was coming - what should I do?

See, she's a Happy Nun™ but I just found out that she's also the Surfing Nun™ ( and I never knew it. Well, I might have guessed by all the teeny bikinis she has. I mean, it's really difficult to keep her habit on when we go anywhere there's water or wetness in general. *sigh* I just don't know why she didn't tell me she was going to be so close by. Does she need her personal space while she's competing? I love her so much and I just want to be with her all the time, even if it's just to give her a wax job. Like on her surfboard and stuff. Dearest NunnyBunny™!!! Please call!!! (pleasepleaseplease)

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ILYSM, my dearest NunnyBunz™!


*sigh* ♥♥♥My HuggyNunny™♥♥♥... The beach was so much more smokin' hot with you on it! The boardwalk literally sizzled beneath your adorable tootsies as you sashayed down to the waves to hang ten. It was the best surfing competition we ever had just because your incredible, hot slippery and nibblable board was freshly waxed to smooth perfection. And the way your yellow polka dot Nun-kini™ practically disappeared when it got wet made me soak myself with drool... or was that just from you sitting on my lap? I still can't believe we drank that whole bottle of tequila while making sweet naughtylove™ at your HotNunz Hotel™. *sigh* Oh, ummm, one of my other gals (right, Courtneh, that's the one.) is getting jealous. Can we invite her over for for some 3-way NunLove™? Oh, and say hi to Grunny™ and Grumpy™... did they remake that will yet?


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Update 2:


<sigh> *applies kisses to all of you, inch by inch millimeter by millimeter... lick, lick, drooooooool...*

I hope you brought the saddle with you NunnyPony™ because I am gonna ride you hard like a rodeo pony until the sun comes up over the moon!

Whenever you are near, my NunnyDear™, I feel the moon is brighter and my pants get tighter... my heart is so full it's about to burst (like my zipper) and I can't wait til you get back from Grunty™ and Grumpy's™ so you can wrap yourself around me like an octopus jacked up on 100 proof Estrogen™. I wanna bite you like the pasy peach of summer and feel your sweetness run down my chinny-chin-chin.

*puts on the mood music for NunnyLovin™ Time:

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Update 3:

Oh, my sweetest ♥♥♥SchmunnyNunnyBunny™♥♥♥!

Your lush and luscious squishy delishyness™ is so intoxicating that I need a rocking chair to calm my savagely beating heart. I feel my pulse throbbing in places that I didn't even know I had... Oh when oh when oh when will be back home again?!?!?! I pine for you and can't wait to hold you between my legs again! No wait... that's backwards... I mean the other way around!! Me, you know... ummm, like that... all engulfed in your passionate WomanNunnyness™, yeah, that's it... you know what I mean? Like starting with your silky hair and stroking you gently, with restrained passion, tenderly kissing your soft lips... tasting the sweetness of your neck and shoulders, tastefully drawing the curtains before losing control of my overwhelming desire for you and tearing off whatever you were wearing when this edit began (was it that red number again? damn you look hot in that!) and attacking you with lust!

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Update 4:

P.S. P.S. P.S.!!!!

I dedicated the OT Psalm 6:6 to you but the last word should be "come" not tears! Hope you like it!! *groan* and *moan* Yeah, rockin' it OT style... soak my couch, Babby!

Update 5:

Oh, my scorching hot ♥♥♥SchmunnyNunny♥♥♥!!!

I am counting the nanoseconds until you are back and wiggling and giggling in my lap while you're wearing that adorably sexy little Chantilly lace number. Something about you makes we wanna pound on a piano and then throw you over my shoulder and take you off to my lair. You'd best be ready 'cause Schmecky gonna wear your azz out, lover!

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Update 6:


Yes, dearest one… the full moon is coming around again and we’ll make more magic… soon it will be fall and we’ll cast another spell as the leaves begin to fall around us… In the great SchmeckyTent™ we’ll be munching Fortunate Cookies™ and dancing to our favorite tune (

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) while I nibble your tenderest bits.

*nibble, nibble, lick, drool*

You are like the most secksay creampuff treat that ever was and I will lick out all of the creamy squishliciousness™ before adding my own WhippyCream™ and setting the whole thing on fire with our Savage PassionNunnyness™…

Update 7:


New moon, half moon, full moon, NunnyMoon™… you name it, sweet babby pie and I will deliver you every inch of my SchmeckyPopsicle™ while I indulge myself by bathing in your all-engulfing NunnyMoonPie™. You bring out the lion in me and I am ready to pounce on you and bring you down with my teeth on your throat… gently biting while you scratch me with your NunnyClaws™… the furious heat of friction setting Olga’s dentures on fire while she reminisces about her wedding night 75years ago… Sometimes, dearest NunnyBunny™, all I need is the air that I breathe:

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Update 8:


Alas and alack… this Q is about to expire without possibility of extending it further… it will not last as long as our last epic lovemaking marathon during which we caused seven SchmeckyTents™, eleventeen SuperNunnyHot™ dresses together with assorted lingerie and about a zillion acres of formerly virgin forest to spontaneously combust from the heat of your Über-Nunny™ womanliness combining with my RelentlessSchmeckitude™ which results in a heat greater than that of the sun. You are the hottest NunnyBunny™ that ever wrapped her legs around a massively throbbing Schmecky, no Y!A Q's about it. Come on now, NunnyBabby™ I’m taking you for a ride:

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Let's get rid of all these losers and rock this town...

7 Answers

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    *sneaks into room with her barely-there Nunkini™(it's hole-y!)...sneaks...sneaks....* DAMMIT!!! Ummm...uhhh...SURPRIIIISE!!! It was all just a cover-up so I could come and see see, it was a secret mission - I HAD to keep Reddi Whip™ from finding out that I'm coming to Schmecky's New York because I knew that all its employees would start to cry again(*rolls eyes* you know...because of those few Overtime-Stress-Related Deaths in the company we ummm...'caused'...sorry, Reddi Whipees™! 'Specially to the not-so-alive-anymore-ones!! Meh, kinda!) if they found out I was visiting my sizzling hot BF....*wipes off drool* Sorry 'bout that....I can't help it...anyhoo, my (see-through-when-wet)Surfer Habit is the best way to hide my Identitty from Reddi Whip! Btw...*looks at naked self* Umm....have you seen my habit lately?

    What is this 'personal space' you're speaking of, darling?? *shrugs shoulders* Here, I'll start by giving you--umm, the board a wax job!! You can lean back and watch'll prepare you---uhh, it for The Ride™ that is about to follow....a ride that's wild...and wet....*takes the wax and warms it in her hands, then slowly glides it along the sides of the hard board....gently slides it up and down....* Now let me show you the motion in my ocean....

    <.< >.>

    I love you soo much, my dearest, lovliest ((((((((((((Schmecky!!!)))))))))))))) <3<3<3 *sighs, daydreams...* I'm calling tell you this:

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    ♥♥♥Schmecky!!!!♥♥♥ *runs towards you in slow motion with open arms and lovely music....*

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    Where were you?? Oh my Schmecky....the cool water was needed badly because I'm afraid I would have burned to ashes while seeing you standing at the beach!! But my heart melted nonetheless...and I melted to a slippery hot puddle...

    *Lovingly™ shoos Courty* Sorry Courty...but he's mine now!!!!!! SHOOO!!! *rubs self against Schmecky to mark her territory* can come for a threesome!!

    It was the best ride I've ever had....I'm sooo happy that you dived into my--umm, the wetness and came to my Rescue™ when I fainted off my board after our eyes met during the competition.....coming back to life has never felt so good!!!! *sighs at the wonderful memory of Schmecky's CPR...their lips meeting as he lovingly kissed her back to life....* Carrying me back to the HotNunzHotel™ was the only right thing to do!! (Not to forget the quick stop we made at Schmokin'SchmecksMotel™ on the way to the hotel....) My Nunkini™(having been shredded by your teeth in passion...) is already long gone....but I'm still drippingly wet..... C'mere my love! I brought us another bottle of Tequila just waiting to turn into countless yummy BodyShots™!!! I love you, my darling. ♥♥♥ *sits down on your lap*

    PS: Grunty™ and Grumpy™ say Hi™!! I'm workin' on the you think they'll give us all their Maple Syrup™ and Cool Whip™ from their fridge?? *crosses fingers*


    My unbelievably hot ♥♥♥SchmeckyDarling♥♥♥!!! *reads edit as suddenly her pants fly out of the window...comes back after umm...a while™ of uhhhh...."searching her pants™" - hands Schmecky the riding crop that mysteriously disappeared a few days ago* Whip me...oh god! Whip me! I'm reddi for you to tame me....I am wild like a mustang for you!! Oh god...please ride me now.........YES!!!!

    *softly kisses you twice as much, covering every nanometer of your skin...starting with your lips and nibbling her way down the sides of your neck while her hands brush over your warm skin that deliciously smells of Schmecky's seductive Manliness™....her hands blindly fumble for an icecube from the champagne ice bucket next to them while her lips are still greedily occupied™ with you, out of control and unable to stop.....slowly draws the delightfully cold, melting icecube along your body, followed by her warming tongue....licks until she makes you shiver in lust....* <.< >.>

    Octopussycally Speaking™, I want our lips to be stuck to eachother's skin like suction cups from an Octopus, sucking their way all over our Schmunnalicious Selves™....umm, sorry for all the marks!! I will hungrily devour you like a melting ice cream cone in the hot Sahara desert...gliding my tongue over every inch of the ice cream cone....swirling my tongue around the tip until you---err, it starts to drip down my lips....

    Oh my ♥♥♥SchmeckyLove♥♥♥!!! Everytime I see you my hearts lovingly starts pounding and beating so if I were taking a wild water ride all the way down the Niagara Falls! Soaking wetness included.... Here, this is for you:

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    I mean every word of it....♥♥♥


    My one and only mindblowing ♥♥♥LovleySchmecky♥♥♥ Say, can...can I sit on your lap while you sit in the rocking chair? I'll gently wiggle my hips and make it rock back and forth....and back and forth...and back and forth...and in an out and....oh, uhh, sorry....I can't control it!!

    Soon I will be home, my love...soon...but every second I have to endure without my complete Schmecky Access™(access to all of Schmecky's secret and sensitive places™...) is driving me to the edge of insanity!! Oh how I desire to be driven to the edge of sensual explosions on the edge of my bed with nothing but your sexy, manly self enveloped in my nekkid legs while you are throbbing with Testosterone™ have me melting with every word that comes out of your deliciously juicy, warm and kissable lips....oh I can't resist!! *kisses you and gently sucks on your bottom lip....* mmmmmhh....♥♥♥

    *takes a LurkyPerv Zapper™ and zaps teh bushes around them just in case*

    PS: My youtube isn't working....but I'll fix it and brb with a song for you, love!!

    PPS!!!!!!!!! *looks at a random bible next to her and bites her lips in Lusty Thoughts™* OMG(as in "Oh god! Oh God!! OHHHHH GOD!!!!!!!!!!")!!! You really have me turned on by the bible now.....*tries to pick it up, but her fingers are mysteriously slippery and the leather cover slips right out of her hands over and over.....* Here, let me use my slippery fingers to....*opens your zipper...* <.< >.> I love you so much!!♥♥♥ You make me soak my cooch---errr, couch every second of the's time for me to crawl into your bed and make it a Waterbed™ with you!!


    Oh my enchanting ♥♥♥SexySchmecksy♥♥♥....I am completely under your spell! You've got me so hypnotized that no, wait, finger-snap could get me out of this trance!! And the only Magic Healing™ that Olga could have witnessed in the SchmunnyTent™ is this type o' healing...

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    PS: OMG!!! Guess what happened at dinner yesterday!! I went to a Mongolian BBQ restaurant(mmmh!) with La Grunty™ et Le Grumps™, and we got a couple of fortune cookies afterwards. And you know what mine said??? (No kiddin', babby! I swear!! *puts hand on stack of ReddiWhip cans*)

    --->"The next full moon will bring an enchanting evening."

    *falls off of chair in excitement* How could it be that they knew??? <3<3

    (I KNEW I saw an asian guy with the FortuneCookieTypingMachine™ in teh bushes at our moonlight rendezvous....I knew it, I knew it!) *sigh* Everybody knows about our love! It's so magic....the next full moon will indeed be enchanting if I get to spend it being wrapped in your arms. Please, oh please let's spend it together again!!! I'll wear my oh-so-shreddable red lace underwear for you...well, at least for the first few seconds of our rendez-vous! I can't wait for your teeth to tear it off of me....(sorry for all the soakingly wet stains I made on your clothes that night!! And all the other nights, too...I just love the way you move your hips when you.........ahhhhhhh....) I can't wait to come back!! I CAN'T!! *sits in your lap, softly stroking your neck while she kisses it...*

    I ♥♥♥ you!!


    ♥♥♥SavagelySecksaySchmecky♥♥♥ *sigh* I can't wait to have countless magical Fortune Nookies™ under the moonlight with you!! The nights without you have me tossing....and turning......and rubbing and....oh why can't you be here? I would be lovingly tossing and turning with you in the fallen leaves before we roll right into the amazing SchmeckyTent™ where I will show you my bright, full moon all night and commence the rubbing with you......*rubs Schmecky with her warm there...and and a long, sensual rub down here....rolls on top of Schmecky and starts an intensely heated Full Body Rub™ as the edges of the tent(and all the dry, fallen leaves) start smoking* Thanks to your sizzling Schmeckiness™ my soaked Nunnyness™ will protect us....but it will get sweaty....

    Seriously(fo' real!!)......there is no other one like you!! You are the most delicious, hottest(and coolest!), most lickable Popsicle there could ever be(not available in ice cream trucks!)....and I want to melt every inch of you. Oh please, melt on tongue will catch every drop....

    <.< >.>

    As always, I am melting to a wet puddle™ at the mere sight of ice in the sunshine. No, under a blowtorch! You know what you are to me? This is what you are....

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    Crap!! It's not fitting in here anymore! I've reached the space limit! *gasps* As if that would stop me from getting to you....hold on, babby! *points down*

  • *shows the Yammy both of her lovliest fingers™(AND toes!) for limiting her space before kicking his tiny little.....* I'm back, babby! Right here! *points down to her bottom....ehhh, sorry, teh bottom of teh page....*

    My lovliest ♥♥♥PouncingSchmecky♥♥♥ literally have me soaking myself in breathtaking fantasies™ about you mounting me wildly and legs wrapped tightly around your hips as we make sweaty, rainforestly damp and hot love........RAWRRR! Did you know that lions mate up to 40 times a day during mating season? *.....bites lips* Ohhhhh darling.......mount me!!!!!! I will get on my hands and knees for you......*ambushes her Schmecky on her SchmeckyProwl™ and throws him on the bed....starts devouring him with soft nibbles that gradually become wild yet gentle bites.....wraps him between her legs and pulls him in......deeply. Softly moans into his ear and passionately draws her NunnyClaws™ all the way down his back.....* I am hungry for you like a lion that's gone weeks and weeks without food!!!

    *furiously wiggles her NunnyMoonPie™ to turn it into a delicious SchmunnyCreamPie™ with Schmecky's WhippyCream™.....* Oh god....

    Wait, where did Olga go?? OMG!! She's on the news!!! She's toothlessly raiding all the Nursing Homes™ for some hawt GILFs!!!

    Oh, my Schmecky...the moon may be high, but I can't see a thing in the sky...'cause I only have eyes for you.

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  • 9 years ago

    thing always have 2 sides.. since there's no really bad thing goin on between u 2

    i think maybe she just dun wanna bother u or disturb u

    like, she doesnt want u to worry about her and start making a really big effort to company her\\

    [cz u hv things ta do and it's not good to leave ur work nd thinking ur goin ta finish them tmr]

    she know u loves her soooo much, so maybe there's sth private?

    [like preparing a surprise 4 u~]

    just think of the good things~~~ then u wont be so 'frightenend'?

  • New York is big city with lot of hot people and she knows that she will get many friends there even better than you so no need to tell you about it or care about you. My advice to you is that forget about her and look for another girl friend one which is reserved only for you not for whole New York city.

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  • 9 years ago

    Nunny likes to ride the swollen wave and straddle a long board all nice and wet.

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    Lv 5
    9 years ago

    What? She didn't tell me either!! And getting up-to-the-minute whereabouts of all the world's hottest nuns is one of the primary reasons I became Catholic!! Talk about not getting your tithings-worth.

  • 9 years ago







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