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Idk, I guess I just want feedback?

An open window let the darkness flow in,

like the scented spring wind, it was all we had then.

I tell you the story of when our eyes first locked,

I planted a lie that grew deep in my heart.

I whisper in your ear the things I once heard,

when love was game, like a flightless bird.

When I first saw you, it was all so new,

your face set the pace for my heart.

But now it is beating in and out of time,

our hands draw close,

but they won’t touch,

not this time.

The candle wax dripping on the floor,

as the wind shifts that creaky door.

Remember the time when our love was pure,

everything seemed so secure,

until we left our innocence behind that creaky door.

Update:

Is there really alot of poetry on the same subject? I haven't noticed.

2 Answers

Relevance
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I myself liked it, very intriguing, good work.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Cliche...sorry..

    the first line...

    and I was about done reading.

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