In my personal and professional opinion. No, do not go forward with getting married. You're going to make an uncomfortable situation even more so, especially and most importantly for the child. The father needs to concentrate on his son, not on you or his love life. The child has made his feelings known and until the those feeling have been resolved, if ever, his father cannot and should not move forward w/ any wedding. The people who are telling you to go ahead with it are people who put their children's feeling aside and decided that what they wanted was more important than their children's feelings. It's not about any child having control or dictating your life, it is about knowing that your child's feelings are more important than yours. It's about being a real parent.
The majority of single parents seem to always make the assumption that the child is simply ok w/ someone new being brought into their lives. This is a mistake that parents make when they decide to remarry or "shack up" w/ someone. They assume that the child has no say because "it's my life" REALITY CHECK! Your children are a part of your life and any decision you make affects them. You're simply assuming that they MUST BE and HAVE TO BE okay w/ you bringing someone new into their lives. You assuming that they have to accept that person now having authority over them is wrong of you. You're thinking only about yourself, not your child. I hear some parents say" Oh he/she is just afraid of losing me" or "My kid is just jealous." Give me a break! That's an excuse for you to get away with what YOU want. Some parents use the excuse that "I deserve to be happy" You know what? Your "happiness" is coming at the cost of losing your child and YOU ALREADY HAVE A FAMILY. YOUR KID IS YOUR FAMILY. Those parents that say "My child doesn't make the rules in my life, I do." You may make the rules in your life, but don’t assume that those rules apply to or are the best for your kids, and aren’t they suppose to be your top priority? The parents are being selfish, thinking only about themselves and their "loneliness." Any new bf/gf acting or saying that he/she likes the child doesn't matter! The child is suppose to like the new bf/gf first, not the other way around. Whether all those single parents out there like it or not, their childrens opinion on their "partners" DOES COUNT/SHOULD COUNT. They have to put up with them too, and they shouldn't be forced to do so. Whenever a kid is forced to be around their parents new gf/bf there is automatically the feeling of "Why is this person allowed to speak to me this way, and treat me this way, and why do I have to put up with it when I didn't ask for this person to be in my life.Mom/Dad decided that without asking me, and now their allowed to tell me what I can and cannot do and order me about? I'm not their child. I didn't ask for him/her to come into my life and home. I was given no choice." Does that seem fair to you? These are all things that must be thought about before, but most people are only thinking about their "loneliness" their "needs", their " lack of sex",and "their need to feel loved". YOUR CHILDREN COME FIRST. Does the following sound right to you: "I have a new husband/ wife now, so you're just going to have to take a backseat because I have to make this relationship work for me" What about your relationship with your kids? Don't assume you can simply bring people into their lives and they have to put up with it for you. You went and had a child, so life is different now and it is no longer about YOU. I also hear this quite often: "Oh my kid? Well, one day he/she grow up and leave and that way I won't be alone" A spouse/partner can drop you in a second, but a child will be there always. Some parents out there want to go off and live new lives and think they can simply drag their kids along with them. Your children have feelings, thoughts, and opinions. Take them into consideration and acknowledge them. Children are not supposed to sacrifice themselves for their parents, it's suppose to be the other way around. Children don’t always tell you what they think and exactly how they feel because they don’t want to hurt your feelings or have you be angry at them, but in the end they grow up resenting that they had to keep all those feelings hidden FOR YOU. That resentment grows into anger towards you. And before anyone brings it up: NO, financially supporting your kids DOES NOT mean that you have done your job as a parent. That is what you're supposed to do, and there is nothing extraordinary about that. All of us who are parents do it (deadbeat parents exempt). It is our obligation, but it does not mean that we are good parents. The finances are irrelevant to the situation and are not a valid excuse for forcing a child to be around someone they don't want to be around. No true parent in their right mind will move forward with any marriage when their child is not okay with it.
I see a lot of these cases