How do I tell my dad this??? (sorry it's a bit long)?

i'm thirteen and my parents have been divorced since i was four or five. About three years ago, my dad got remarried and I really hate his wife. she wants everything to be about her and doesnt like me very much. she's always talking about how awesome my little sister is and how she's going to end up... show more i'm thirteen and my parents have been divorced since i was four or five. About three years ago, my dad got remarried and I really hate his wife. she wants everything to be about her and doesnt like me very much. she's always talking about how awesome my little sister is and how she's going to end up being famous or something someday. According to everyone, my dad's always liked me way better than my sister and loves me more than everyone else. The thing is, he's always nicer to my sister and my stepmom. He's not abusive or anything, he just never listens. what i really hate about him is how he tries to force my stepmom onto me.

he's been trying to get us for a whil to call her mom, (or something else that means mom) for a while, even though i still see my mom. i live with her more, although he's been fighting to take us away from her for a while. my dad's going to have a baby with his wife in about a month and I'm really scared. He's already stopped being as nice to spend more time with his wife, but he always makes us go to his house just to sit with her while he's at work or something. i'm scared he's going to make us come see him, but he'll never be home or anything.

also, every time i tell him i want to go back home (my mom's) because he's at work, we get into a big fight. he treats me like i'm 6 and tells me that i'm not allowed to go back. i think i'm old enough to decide. i really love him, but i don't want to see him anymore because my stepmom isn't very nice. We fight a lot and she's hit me before. She mainly calls me names though, she's called me evil, selfish and accused me of trying to ruin my dad's life. I've been about 10 when our fighting started. i told her i hate her, but she says i'm too little to understand love and hate, but i don't think i am. he completely ignores this. i'm also too scared to tell my mom because she'll get really mad.

i feel really alone most of the time because my mom doesn't understand anything (every time i bring my dad up she insults him and i get upset). the only three people i can talk to are my best friend and my cousins. my best friend lives an hour away and my cousins live in europe, and i live in canada.

how do i tell my dad i don't want to see him because of his wife??? he scares me a bit, and this is really getting to my head. i burst into tears randomly, and it consumes all of my thoughts. i'm too ashamed to tell my friends and have had to lie to them. i can't stop thinking. i hate my dad most of the time, but then he'll do something really nice for me and i'll feel really bad. i actually stopped talking to him for a month when i was eleven, but my mom told me it's bad for a kid not to have a father.

i can tell though, that this is really messing me up though because i'm a lot meaner to everyone and when my uncle died (my mom's brother) i didn't feel sorry for anyone, and i didn't even cry even though we were very close when i was younger. (he didn't live in the same country anymore, so we sort of drifted apart).

What do i do???
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