小蔚 asked in 社會與文化語言 · 1 decade ago

誰能幫我改改我的英文作文?

這是我第一次寫英文作文

因為現在面臨一個很重要的入學考所以必須練好作文

所以哪位好心人幫我改一改

題目是: Describe a memorable birthday celebrable

December 6th , it is my birthday . There was a memorable birthday celebrable in last year . I remember I woke up in that morning . I was very happy and exciting . I thought there were a lot of presents and cake wait for me .I ran out the room , but me heart was broken . There were notthing on the table . No cakes , no presents . I felt very sad . I went back to my room , and prepared to go to school .

I was very sad , there were no one remember it . On the way to school . My sister told me " Happy Birthday - sister " . I was so happy .There were a person who remember my birthday . Iwent to class with the pleased mood. When I in the class , my classmate gave me a hand-made birthday card. Wow ! There were a lot of photoes on it . The photoes were about our life in junior high school . There were lot of fun .

Afther that , my teacher broungh a big cake to me . There were a lot of children and flowers made by cream . It looks delicious . When I was singing a birthday song , my teacher came apply the cream to my face . oh ! I just look like a cream clown . It felt very sticky and oily . but I am very happy on that day . When I went home ,I saw a big Teddy in my room , a cake in the refrigerator , and a big birthday card from my family mumber . It was a memorable day ! I was so happy and excited in that day .

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寫的不是很好

若我 型式 有不對的可以跟我講媽

真的 謝謝你了

Update:

第 3 段 第一個 是 After~

2 Answers

Rating
  • Sigma
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    題目是: Describe a memorable birthday celebration

    December 6th is my birthday. I had a memorable birthday celebration last year. I remember when I woke up in that morning, I was very happy and excited. I thought there were a lot of presents and cakes waiting for me. I ran out of the room, but only to have my heart broken. There was nothing on the table. No cakes and no presents. I felt very sad and went back to my room to prepare for going to school.

    I was very sad, because no one remembered it. Then, on the way to school, my sister told me " Happy Birthday, sister ". I was so happy, because there was at least a person who remembered my birthday. I went to the classroom in a pleasant mood. When I stepped in the classroom, my classmates gave me a hand-made birthday card. Wow ! There were a lot of photos on it . The photos were about our life in junior high school. They reminded me that there had been lots of fun when we were in junior high school.

    Afther that, my teacher brought a big cake to me. On the cake, a lot of children and flowers made of cream were decorated. The cake looked delicious. When I was singing a birthday song, my teacher came applying the cream to my face. Oh ! It looked just like a cream crown. The cream felt very sticky and oily, but I was very happy. When I went home, I found a big Teddy in my room, a cake in the refrigerator, and a big birthday card from my family members. It was a memorable day! I was so happy and excited on that day.

    Source(s): myself
  • 1 decade ago

    你有很多時態都弄錯了

    雖然形容當時的情形用中文是用現在式

    但是你用英文寫一定要寫過去式

    還有錯字要再看一下

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