Can anyone help me check if there's any grammar or spelling mistake?

Hi, i have a letter and i need to send it by tomorrow. Can anyone help me check if there's any spelling or grammar mistake? Thanks in advance! =)

Here's the letter:

Dear parents and guidance,

Thank you for taking to time to come along with us. We really appreciate your support throughout the journey.

The journey will not be as fun and memorable as it was without your presence and participation. We would like to send our deepest appreciation for your support. We are fortunate to have people such as yourself that are dedicated to improve the education.

So here’s our thank you once again, Thank You!

Thank you for your dedicated support,

Brian

3 Answers

Relevance
  • 9 years ago
    Best Answer

    Dear parents and guardians,

    Thank you for taking ‘YOUR’ time to come along with us. We really appreciate your support throughout the journey.

    The journey ‘WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN’ as fun and memorable as it was without your presence and participation. We would like to send our deepest appreciation for your support. We are fortunate to have people such as ‘YOU’ that are dedicated to improve education.

    So here’s our thank you once again, Thank You! (I WOULD SUGGEST DELETE THIS LINE BECAUSE YOU ARE THANKING ONCE AGIAN BELOW AND IS NOT APPROPRIATE.)

    Thank you for your dedicated support,

    Brian.

  • 9 years ago

    There were quite a few errors so I've rewritten it:

    Dear parents and guardians,

    Thank you for taking the time to come along with us. We really appreciated your support throughout the journey.

    The journey would not have been as fun and memorable without your presence and participation. We would like to send our deepest appreciation for your support. We are fortunate to have people such as yourselves that are dedicated to improving education.

    So here's our thank you once again for your dedicated support,

    Brian

    Overall, the letter doesn't really sound right. The sentences are all quite short, it would be better to have more varied sentence lengths and structures. Also, you said thank you too many times. It might be better if you say what this 'journey' was. Obviously the receiver of the letter knows but it might make the letter sound more genuine. Or mention something that happened on this 'journey' that made it so memorable and fun.

  • 9 years ago

    Thank you for taking THE time.

    The rest of it is obviously not that of a native speaker but OK.

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.