My 10 year old wets the bed every night "on purpose"?
I can not begin to share the lengthy details of the bed wetting saga we have had since then. She stops for weeks, even months and then starts again for no apparent reason. She may respond to rewards for a while but then goes back to it. In the past year it has increasingly grown worse.
The past 5 - 6 months I have decided to really crack down on this behavior as it is very clear that she has control. Also, she has admitted on several occasions that she "just doesn't want to get out of bed" and she "likes peeing herself". Now she is wetting the bed nearly every night. She has hidden soiled underwear/pajama bottoms many times or simply continues to wear them saying they are "dry". I have had to resort to making sure she is changing clothes and having her bring her undergarments to me in the AM to see is she wet them in the night. Medically she checks out. I even feared sexual abuse and the Doc checked her for physical signs...nothing. (Thank God.) I also talked to her about anyone "touching her" and she said no one had ever done that.
We believe in paddling. We do this only when there is direct disobedience and the child knows exactly what he/she has done and how many swats with the paddle are going to take place. I hesitated for a long time paddling her for this since it is bed wetting but clearly she is doing this on purpose and I can no longer justify not punishing this. So in the last few months we have been paddling (2 swats each AM she has wet the bed). Very little change. In the last couple of weeks... gradually we have removed almost every priviledge she has. Basically she has no life right now. She has very limited activity, reading books and things. That's it.
Oh and another thing... in the last year, she has developed a lying habit that is unreal. She will lie about anything. Even when it's not avoiding a discipline. I am sure she lies several times a day but can not always prove it. She has also had "fits" when she is about to be paddled. These are falling on the floor fits. It was shocking to see a 10 year old behave like that. However, those seem to have subsided since we added extra paddling whenever she did that.
I will admit that her illness may have caused us to "spoil" her to a certain degree when she was younger although we tried not to. I have considered that continued wetting may be her way of showing defiance since we have really cracked down on some of her behavior. Do you think that it is possible she is "protest peeing" so to speak, since it has increased in the last 5 months or so and still continues in spite of all this punishment?
BTW she is the youngest of my 5 children. I have worked with troubled kids in the past. Worked at a daycare, a teen home and with youth ministry. So I am familiar with kids. However, this time I am at a loss. Help.
We have decided that since she seems to respond to rewards we are going to give her and her brother an allowance of $2 a day every day they "do what is right" and "tell the truth". For her that includes getting up to use the restroom at night (staying dry). She was dry last night, so she got 2 bucks. But this was just the first day so we will see how this goes. Maybe if she sees a potential reward every day this will work. I appreciate the ADHD answer but did not pick it as "best answer" due to the electric blanket comment. I do not agree with that approach. How can I lie to her when I am constantly telling her how bad lying is?