I NEED VERY SERIOUS HELP! HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP?
I keep neglecting to post this. This is my 3rd time, hopefully this time I will.
This is my problem. I had a girl that I was engaged to, we knew each other for 7 years, were best friends for 3 years and engaged for about a year and a half. Our relationship was like a fairytale at first, but we came across a lot of obstacles that needed to be conquered. It was a great strain on our relationship, but our love was easy. Being together was perfect, so we promised to get through these things no matter what. Although, after awhile some of the things keepings us apart started to weigh on my Fiancee.
This is very hard for me to write, but I think it needs to be done even though this is hard for me.
She... I don't really know. I have had quite a few concerns, with her, and her behavior which have only came to light recently. All of the things I pressured her to change, and worried about and brought up were for justified reason.
I found out, today, that all my concerns were just right!
I don't KNOW what happened to her. And I know it's her. I'm here because I gave EVERYTHING I have been giving everything for 7 years, I have tried and I put all of my heart into this, I only broke up with her because it became irreconsilable.
I'd say, somewhere around March, things started spiraling. It got to a girl that would plan our wedding, run the length of the Earth to be with me, make me presants, and tell me she loved me, POUR it out and cry every time we were together to an eventual situation as this...
She wouldn't answer my emails. She wouldn't speak to me. She wouldn't tell me anything about her daily life, if I was upset about something she wouldn't discuss it, if I told her I was sick she would say nothing too. She said she didn't even bother to wash her clothes before she came to see me. She told me she wouldn't have sex with me for like 3 or 4 years. (Dispite our looming MARRIAGE!?) She became... almost mentally retarded. Like she went from knowing what I even THOUGHT I didn't even have to speak to not understanding the simplist things. She didn't know a thing about me. She wouldn't ask to spend time with me. And I think she even stopped telling me she loved me, in fact I know she stopped proclaiming her love for me and I didn't even notice that one... (I assumed I had to force her to say it, in the past she did but she would get exasperated that I demanded so much reassurance) I surely assumed since I stopped pressuring her that was why. She became a deadbeat Fiancee. She went from being immaculate and like an angel to me and my greatest love to a woman you couldn't even DEAL with nonetheless marry! She said she was a child and I was an adult. She did cry on one occasion, like a child, sit on the floor crying and wailing when all I did was ask her a question. She made me cookies, desserts, things that were very bad for me when she knew I was on a health craze. I couldn't eat them and I said why did she make that for me why didn't she make me something healthy why didn't she try to give me something good for me to prove she cared for me instead of giving me something Bad for me? What sense does that make? Especially when she KNEW I wouldn't eat them she did that anyway...
I wasn't harsh, I stopped expecting much of anything from her. And that was when she started crying. (I didn't tell her that!!)
It went from someone I could trust my life with to someone that started being as strange as that.
I ended up breaking up with her. I told her she didn't love me, what she felt for me was not love. (Which was true.) She often said.. she would kill herself, hurt herself, commit herself, disappear and I would never even hear about it. Which, of course scared me. And she was serious. It got to a point where it became lies!
I told her if she rather kill herself than show up to my front door and try to speak to me and get me to be happy (She didn't even care about my happiness or if I loved her) THAT WAS NOT LOVE!
She said, for the deterioration, she just gave up. My Fiancee gave up on me?
And when I broke up with her she chased me, screaming, grabbing me every time she got close enough for blocks to my house until I went in. The whole neighborhood was watching.
(I'm sorry this is getting long but I SERIOUSLY need help)
I called the police on her. Turns out I didn't have to.
When I went inside she left, she went straight home.
I wasn't important enough to make a REAL scene, right? (That's what I see in my mind.)
So, to summarize, it's two weeks later. She goes from being in the pits of Hell to having found a new girlfriend, somehow, and has created this whole new life and is so happy I literally can't eat anymore.
My Fiancee. I feel like I wasted 7 years of my life. She had all these crazy plans I saw about trying to get me back by the end of the summer, and how she w
as going to cut herself and show up bleeding and go into a mental instituation and things you don't want to know. She didn't even care enough to keep that promise?
I LOVED HER, I cared about her, but all the love in the world will not fix our relationship, it won't change her. What, didn't she really love me? She hasn't contacted me once, I think, since I called the police, I have all the things I've even gotten from her and it will kill me inside to keep them. I think I might give them back to her, some of the cost quite a pretty penny.
I feel like someone punched me, I mean I.. can't believe this.
I don't understand.
I love her, and I know I'm a fool for doing it. But what is this?
I mean she used to leave boxes on my doorstep, that would contain gifts, presants, letters, letters that she wrote every moment she couldn't be with me about all that happened so I wouldn't miss it. Poems, everything. She was an entity of love. She gave me a music box, that was the most beauti
ful comforting thing ever. It was my most prized possession because that's exactly the type of thing I love. It's black, and blue and has flowers painted on it it's more than amazing...
I'm letting my depression let me drone on. I'm sorry. I can't comprehend this. I love her, and I always thought, atleast, with 7 years, and everything we felt, that we would always care about each other, be there for each other, that we would always love each other in some way.
And now, why did I waste SO MUCH OF MY LIFE? I feel like I wasted seven years. I want to kill her, I want to make her miserable, she has hurt me.
I'm like an ant to her now. How can someone do that?
Does she have a mental illness?
Is she just that terrible of a person?
I wonder how I'm going to live now.
She's only in my head now.
I wish I never cared a drop about a woman as dark and cold as her, I swear she's the only human that wasn't born with a heart. I don't think she has one. I don't know how this happened
Thank you for reading this, I really need your help.
- Anonymous1 decade agoFavorite Answer
Time to move on Sweetie.
I Dunno What It Is But This Girl's Having An Emotional Break Down But The Only Way You Can Understand It Is Through Her But From What You Wrote Doubt She'll Be Cool With That ... But You Have Been With Her For 7 Years But Since When Did It Start Goin Downhill? Ask Yourself Is IT Worth It To Try Woek It Out?
- ?Lv 41 decade ago
She lost interest in you long ago, but YOU just couldn't accept that & move on with your life. Well, now you've finally done what you should have done YEARS ago - Broke Up with her. Now, get on with your life Without her disinterest. You won't need to purchase her affection, any more, by doing all kinds of 'things' for her.Source(s): expreience.
wow she put you thru ALL that hell and you still REALLY LOVE her that much? well dont let hearsay deter you from trying to be with her again especially if you have a attitude that never has let it happen and never will,if she feels that way she must tell you that directly on her own, and then yeah itll be devestating im sure butt your NUTS if you then dont take out every bit of your pain and frustration on her new man,GOOD LUCKSource(s): FACTS to FACE
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- 1 decade ago
Holy crap man. Screw her move on! Don't give anything back to her, don't talk to her and just move on. She wasted enough of your life! Don't let her ruin any more of it.... she'll get over it the whole killing herself BS is just for attention.