If you remain a vegetarian/vegan for a long time, you will learn that *everyone* has a different take on the "right" way to live ~ regardless of whether they are a veggie, vegan, or meat eater. I have been vegetarian for nearly 20years & am comfortable with MY decisions ~ as such, I don't preach my lifestyle to others, but am happy to explain if asked =)
Anyhow, here is what works for me ~ I TRY my hardest to use cruelty-free products when I purchase makeup, shampoo, household cleaners, etc. However, sometimes it just isn't possible, whether it's due to personal preference for one product over another, or financial reasons, etc. But I don't feel guilty when I use a non-cruelty free product. Rather, I feel good that the majority of the products I buy are made by conscientious companies who do not test on animals.
Regarding clothing, I almost never buy leather ~ it's funny you mention boots, because I find it very hard to find good quality shoes from man made products. I'm a nurse, and leather shoes offer the best protection from body fluids (yuck!!!) and the best comfort for my feet after 12+ hours at work. Like beauty/cleaning products ~ 90% of my shoes are from natural, man made materials. But, occasionally I have to turn to leather. Yes, I feel horribly guilty when I do it, but I don't beat myself up over it.
So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that you are not horribe by not sticking 100% to a vegan lifestyle. Feel good about the choices you do make, and the positive effect you are having on animals and the environment.
Regarding feeling like a burden ~ yes, I do feel like a burden when I eat out! After all these years.... it doesn't bother me so much at other people's houses. After all, I don't want others to judge my lifestyle, so if they have a lot of meat I politely skip it & assure them I had plenty to eat (even if I didn't!)
But I do hate going out to a restaraunt with my meat-eating family & inlaws. As a veggie/vegan I am sure you have noticed that the best restaraunt options are either ethnic or small, independent places that aren't really appropriate for a big family dinner.It bugs me that they frequently choose steak places whose only non-meat option is a baked potato and house salad :( I know that when we skip the steak places and go to a restaraunt we all agree on, they feel like they have made a big sacrafice for me, but I don't think they ever stopped to consider that I am also making a sacrafice for them. My family/in-laws never consider that by agreeing on a bland chain restaraunt I only have a choice of 1 or maybe 2 entrees ~ which still sucks! Even if it is better than making a "meal" out of the vegetable sides at a meat place. They just see that I am once again making them forfeit an awesome steak dinner at an awesome steak house *sigh*
Long story short ~ being veggie/vegan means a lifetime of figuring out what works for you and being true to yourself. It is tough! But don't worry about what you "should" do ~ be proud for what you *have* done =) Good luck!