so scared and confused... help please?

I have an ex-fiance who was on the pill who got pregnant about a year and a half ago( before i knew she was pregnant I called off our engagement, because things weren't working out). 3 weeks after we split up she called me and said she was a month pregnant.

Me and my ex-fiance have been living apart, but we never told our parents/family that we split up(just that we postponed the wedding for a bit due to baby). I suppose we both thought we could patch things up and have a normal life.

Things didn't work out this way though, i met the girl of my dreams. It's like a feeling of complete happiness, and total love when i am near her. I am so happy i found her and we've been together for about a year now. Things have been great, i finally know what everyone is talking about, when they try to describe how "love" feels.

I have a baby now though, and my family thinks that me and my ex-fiance are still together. So i have yet to introduce the new girl to my parents. She also does not know I have a baby. She hates children and says she never wants them in general. If i told her, she would probably leave me for lying all this time, and for being a dad.

She's moving to NYC in September, and she wants me to move there with her(we'd both be close to our jobs), and i really really really want to take this kind of step with her. But i can't move there without telling her. I'm afraid i'm going to lose the only person i have ever loved. I lied my way into this, so i know this is all my fault.... but im scared and alone, and i can't talk to anyone about it.

please help.

5 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Yeah what you want to hear is that there is a way you can just keep lying and keep all your other stuff under the table but that's not the case. If you come out with everything now then it won't be near as bad as if you had waited until after you moved and everything. If the other woman really loves you, she'll understand that you made a mistake and that your baby and ex-fiance are part of a different life that she doesn't have to be involved in. If she wants to be melodramatic and break it all of then that's a decision on her part. Just tell the truth and what happens will happen. Even if your girl is super mad and doesn't talk to you for a few days then give her that time cause she'll come back around, they all do <3.

  • 1 decade ago

    There really is no way out of telling her the truth. A child is not an easy thing to hide from anyone, much less the person you say you love. She "deserves" to know ALL of the truth, because she must be allowed the opportunity to make her own decisions about where she wants your relationship to go after she knows all. Don't move to NYC until and unless you tell her all.

    You will have to "take your lumps" so be prepared. The "contents" of the lie, (you have a baby) is not what will make her angry and hurt. It's the fact that you lied to her at all. Imagine if she had just told you she had a child she didn't tell you about? After you moved to NYC??? Think about that.

    Being lied to for any reason, by anyone, NEVER feels good.

    Good Luck!

    Source(s): Age and experience and having been lied to.
  • 4 years ago

    OK fear wart! Enough! You are 15! You will have to now not be stressful approximately the longer term. Enjoy being 15. Yes university is knocking at the door and it's going to be right here earlier than you understand it,, however university is amusing.. Sure you ought to research and ought to be in charge however experience it. It generally is a exceptional and beneficial time. Maybe the AP categories are an excessive amount of. Maybe you will have to simply take steady categories and experience being in HS. Get to grasp a few peers, name them, make plans , pass to the mall, have a few girlfriends over for a sleepover or lock in. Put make-up up on and check out purchasing a brand new outfit on the mall. You are 15 ,, you'll nonetheless be a little bit child now and again. Let your mother and father love you, allow them to speak to you, speak to them. Ask Mom if you'll support her prepare dinner dinner, watch a ballgame along with your Dad. STOP WORRYING! With the entire predicament that is available in existence, it's nonetheless unique- experience it. Now get off the laptop, take a look at calling a buddy, truthfully name one ,, now not textual content..Texting is so bloodless. You cannot pay attention the heat of a peers voice or the suffering they'll have to percentage.. Call one, you're usually now not on my own feeling the strain of developing up.

  • 1 decade ago

    I would drop dead if my BF tells me he have a child and an ex fiancee, but it's best to tell the truth. If she truly loves you, no matter how long it takes, she will come to terms and accept it. You guys will deffo work it out. Just take note, jealousy bound to happen, she might feel insecure at times that you have a baby with someone else. Make clear your commitment to the baby and nothing else. It's your child after all.

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  • 1 decade ago

    It's time to be a man and start telling the truth. You chose your path in life. Man-up and get it done. If you move to NYC without telling her it will come out and some point and you will have lost everything.

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