How to help her not feel so much pain?

My fiance and I live together for almost 5 years and she has been extremely sensitive to a lot of things and she is constantly in a lot of emotional pain which later transforms into physical pain because it always stays in. To make a long story short... every time she is in pain, she begs me for help, however her begging comes in a form of a very mean person that's constantly feels like yelling/blaming and in a result I cant help her because I am angry/pissed off and feeling pain now because of how she channels her "asking for help". Sometimes she gets so upset that she loses it and physically hits me or cries for 10-20 minutes non stop. I use to able to help her but recently I cant stand it and leave to another room since I am so fed up and angry about it. I feel so bad for her that she is this way and so does she, we love each other both and trying to find a solution to see maybe if she can get some sort of meds? or other forms of help. Sad part is we just got engaged and feels like we are both at the lowest level of the relationship so I know this doesn't seem good but that's what it is...

5 Answers

  • 1 decade ago

    She can be living with pain that has been with her for so long she thinks she can't get rid of it. People with chronic pain are going to be prone to bouts of rage and despair as they get over whelmed with pain. It is enough to make anyone strike out after a while. The thing she has to do is find the areas in her body that are being the problems for her, is it in her neck, her back, legs, or where ever, you didn't list any of that but if I knew where she might be having pains I could get her ways of releasing those pains, all natural, so nothing to worry about as far as what she might have to ingest. If she has the pains let me know and I'll help. If there are no physical problems that bring on the outbursts she should see a qualified dr. for some type of medication to settle her down some. If it is mental you may want to think about this long and hard if you are making the right choice right now. This would be a life time of living with that and you are fed up now, imagine 5 years of it, how would you feel? Just some food for thought.

  • mysti
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    I agree with the other answers. Your fiance definitely needs to see a qualified psychologist or mental health professional. First she needs to see her primary or family physician so that physical issues can be dealt with or ruled out. He/she can also refer her to someone for the mental issues. I don't think it would hurt if you did the same. There are many medications now that can treat these conditions, but first a diagnosis needs to be made. She would also probably benefit greatly from well as both of you. I would start with the family doc and do it asap.

    This can be successfully treated and managed, but only if both of you are willing to follow through. I would certainly put the marriage thing on hold for the time being until you can establish a more stable and comfortable relationship. I wish you the best.

  • 1 decade ago

    I agree with Stuart. This isnt a healthy relationship and she needs psychogical help. If she refuses theres nothing you can do. She clearly has problems and she is taking it out on you and it isnt fair. I wouldnt even be thinking of getting married while she is like this. You are in the position at the moment where you can walk away. Your not married, you dont have kids and your not tied as you have no priorities. But imagine if you get married and have kids. You cant split up (well you could divorce but it might make her more uncontrollable). Help her the best you can by suggest she sees someone. If she agrees then great and I wish you both luck. But if she refuses help, you may as well move on because she isnt going to grow out of it anytime soon... :)

  • Stuart
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Your fiancee needs to speak with a professional like a psychologist or pain therapist. She has some deep seated issues that will not get better in her current situation.

    You might speak to the counselor about your anger issues, also.

    This relationship sounds a little co-dependent.

    - Stuart

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  • 1 decade ago

    i agree with the other answers, your fiance needs help in the form of psychiatric help. And you most likely need some support in how to deal with her and her issues. Good luck.

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