Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingNewborn & Baby · 1 decade ago

8-month-old refuses to sleep in crib...Help!?

My 8 month old daughter REFUSES to sleep in her crib. For the first 6 months or so, she was fine with it, but now she cries as soon as I put her in it at bedtime. And I mean CRIES. I have tried using the method of letting her cry for 5 mintues, coming in to check on her, and then going another 5 minutes, and repeating this until she falls asleep, to no avail. She will literally scream and get herself so worked up, it makes me sick to have to see her like that. If I put her in our bed, she smiles, puts her thumb in her mouth, and will go right to bed. So I have put a full sized bed in our room, put pillows around all 4 sides, and basically made her her own little sleeping spot. My hubby does not like this idea and thinks she needs to be in her crib, which I agree with, but I can't put her in it and just let her cry it out - she thrashes around and I end up coming to check on her 5 minutes later to find her at an awkward angle in her crib. Each night, I feed her dinner, give her a warm bath, put on her jammies, lotion, brush her gums/teeth, etc., and then give her a bottle to eat until she falls asleep. (I don't let her fall asleep with it; I sit with her and say our prayers until she's done and then take it out of her mouth.) I even put a little music maker toy that shines a picture on the ceiling and plays soft lullabies or nature sounds for her to fall asleep to. Am I doing something wrong in her nightly schedule? What do you suggest? Thanks in advance for your help!

2 Answers

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  • ?
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Around this age she has figured out that there is a thing called "cause and effect"

    if they cry - Mommy comes,

    if they drop a cookie - the dog eats it,

    if they drop a toy - Mommy picks it up and gives it back to them

    if they laugh, Mommy laughs too.

    This is all good, they are learning that they have some influence on their environment.

    However, at this time they realize that it would be much nicer to sleep snuggled up to Mommy in the big bed! If you take them into your bed, they have learned that if they cry at bed time - they get to sleep in the big bed with Mommy.

    What I suggest is this - feed your daughter her dinner and tell her that she will be sleeping in her bed tonight - then bathe her, brush her teeth, put her pyjamas on and then take her and put her in her crib! Kiss her goodnight and then leave.

    She will cry, she will make a huge fuss - go in lay her down, pat her back and tell her gently that she can't come out of her crib. You will likely have to do this thirty times the first night, but only twenty times the second night (because she knows you mean it) and then about three times on the third night.

    She isn't being naughty or spoiled, she is just learning about her world - she has learned that if she cries and screams, she can sleep with you - so now it is time to re-teach her that she will be sleeping in her own bed from now on - it isn't mean, it isn't cruel, it is just the way things are.

    Also, tell yourself ten times a day "I am the Mommy, I am the Mommy ....." Because, YOU are the parent and parents are the ones who decide where children will sleep.

    Imagine if you had 4 kids, would they all be in your bed every night? Would they all decide where THEY are going to sleep? Of course not, you would put them to bed, and even if they object, they go to sleep in their own beds.

    Be strong, she is only 8 months old, you have to win this battle because there are more to come, she will rebel about what she will and will not eat, what she will and will not wear, what she wants piercing, who she will date - you need to win battles so your child knows that you are a strong parent - this may seem extreme, but children learn very young when their parents are weak.

    I heard yesterday a conversation between a 5 year old and her mother that went like this ....

    Mom: If you do that again, you will go to your room, that is naughty and you're not allowed to do that!

    Child: There, I did it and you can't stop me!

    Mom: Right, that's it, you did it now, you have to go to your room right now!

    Child: No, I won't go, and you can't make me!

    Mom: Okay.

    And lets child carry on watching TV!

    What did this child learn about her mother? Who is in control at that house? By the time that child is 14 life won't be worth living in that home!

    Source(s): Mother of 5
  • Pip
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Your night time routine sounds perfect, very sweet in fact!

    Is there a way you can get her to fall asleep in her cot and then leave once she's asleep?

    Will she settle if you just sit there with her or rub her back maybe?

    When I worked at daycare for some of the babies I would just sit next to their crib, silent, and wait for them to fall asleep, they could see I was there and knew I wasn't going to leave and would fall asleep and then I could slip out.

    It sounds just like a phase due to her age, she's old enough to know that you're leaving and she's got to the point of knowing she's alone and that if she cries you will come. It's very normal, and will pass with time.

    Good luck

    :-)

    Source(s): Dip. Childcare
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